


The Holiday

by EnigmaInTheDust, jarofhearts



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Baby Harry, Christmas, Developing Friendships, Inspired by a Movie, Lily isn't Harry's mum, M/M, Skype, The Holiday AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 42,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2841857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnigmaInTheDust/pseuds/EnigmaInTheDust, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofhearts/pseuds/jarofhearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Remus gets his heart broken shortly before Christmas, the best thing that happens to him is a stranger asking for a house exchange. Like that he ends up in California, and if anyone had told him that it would change his life, Remus would have laughed. Until that's exactly what happens. - The Holiday AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!

_I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said, "Love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back._

 

Remus Lupin stared at the blinking cursor on his screen, appearing and disappearing again and again at the end of the paragraph he had just written.

Staring at it for a moment longer, he hit backspace, and saw how one after another, the letters disappeared again.

He had completely lost track of the topic of his article. _Again_ , he reminded himself. But writing a review to this book was one of the hardest tasks he had ever come across. Not because the book was especially difficult to read or the subject had been too complicated to understand, quite contrary. Those were the books that Remus loved. No, this one had been a simple love story. A love triangle to be precise, all filled with the usual clichés of someone having to decide between the nice guy and the obvious moron, to put it into easy terms.  
But parts of the book had been too similar to Remus’ own life to not be affected.

And so he stared once more at his blank screen, trying to find the right words to tell his readers about the book, sitting all alone in his small office, filled with stacks of papers and books, while outside everyone was celebrating the annual Christmas Party of the newspaper he was working for: The Telegraph.

But his mind didn’t agree with him and so his thoughts wandered off once more.

 _How did it come to this,_ he asked himself.

Yes, it had been the three most miserable years of his life and it had all been because he had fallen in love with a guy. That alone wasn’t necessarily bad, especially not since the guy had actually seemed interested. And yes, it hadn’t taken long for them until they had started an affair.  
Remus would have liked to call it a relationship, but looking back at it, he knew it had never really been one.

For one, because the guy had never intended on telling anyone that he was with Remus. He insisted on meeting only at one of their homes and never going out for dinner or anything. But love really did make blind, and Remus hadn’t said anything. But that exactly was the second point, that when he had finally brought those three little words over his lips, he had never gotten anything in return.

Now that he thought about it, Remus started to wonder again. How had the guy managed to slip out of every situation where he could have said the famous little line?

However it had been possible, Remus should have known.

But the awakening had only come the day he had come over to find the guy in bed, entangled into a pair of legs that belonged to a girl working in distributions.

Remus had ended whatever they'd had and tried to pull away, but the guy kept calling. Kept writing emails. And of course, kept showing up in his office.  
And though the mind sometimes knows exactly what to do, the heart doesn’t want to understand. And Remus’ heart still kept skipping beats whenever he saw the tall man standing in the door of his office, arms crossed and blue eyes settled on him. He still felt sick and couldn’t eat a single bite whenever he spotted that familiar mess of short brown curls in the crowd.

So yes, after more than three years, after being cheated on and after constantly being called back, Remus was in a situation he could really only describe as miserable.

He rubbed his face and let an exhausted sigh escape. No, he wouldn’t be able to write a single line tonight, he was sure about that.

 _Maybe one last try,_ he thought and put his fingers back onto the keyboard and started typing, when he heard a polite cough behind him, over the Christmas music filtering in through the not entirely closed door.

And of course he recognised it immediately.

When Remus turned towards the door, there he stood, leaning against the inside of the frame, arms crossed in front of his chest, blue eyes fixed on him and the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.

“Hey,” Gerard said, his voice familiarly deep and gently amused.

And as always, Remus’ heart skipped a beat.

“Hey,” he smiled back and sent a silent prayer that his voice didn’t sound as rough and dry as his throat felt.

Gerard just looked at him for a few moments, head slightly tilted to the side. “You’re the only person I know who’d rather sit in here and work when there’s a celebration going on right outside his door.”

“Yeah, I know,” Remus tried to laugh as casually as possible as he nodded towards the screen.  
“I just wanted to finish that review first, that’s all.”

“So are you coming outside then?” Gerard pushed himself away from the frame and came over, stopping behind Remus’ chair to catch a glance at the screen over his shoulder.

Remus closed his eyes for a moment and thanked God that he had just deleted everything he had written before.

He could feel the warmth of Gerard’s body behind him, and an arm brushing his shoulder, fingers of a hand resting against his back. Small touches, small gestures that reminded Remus of how close they had been.

_Still are?_

“Remus?”

“Yes?” Remus was pulled back into reality and looked up to Gerard.

“You are coming out of here when you’re done, right?” he was asked, a slender eyebrow coming up.

“Sure,” Remus nodded, and Gerard gave him a small grin and straightened again, walking casually back around his desk.

“You know, I have a present for you.”

Remus’ eyes brightened.  
“Really? Well, I happen to have something for you, too.” His smile turned into an honest one, a hopeful one, as he pulled the present he had gotten for Gerard out of his desk.

Small, heavy and neatly wrapped into light blue paper. And incredibly hard to find.

“Oh!” His blue eyes settled on the wrapping, then flickered back up to Remus’ face. He smiled again. “I don’t know exactly where yours is right now, but I’m sure I’ve gotten you something.”

 _Right,_ Remus thought, heart sinking. _Just like the years before?  
_ He tried to not let his disappointment show.

“Maybe you left it in your car or something,” he shrugged and still held the present out to Gerard.

“Don’t you want to open yours?”

The other smiled a little wider and reached out, taking the present from Remus.

He opened it with care, and as he unwrapped the paper and got a first look at what was inside, astonishment flickered over his face.

“That’s... a first edition.”

“Yes it is,” Remus nodded and kept his eyes on the book in Gerard’s hands. It had been one of Gerard’s favorite books and he had been looking for a first edition for ages. Back in November he had been lucky enough to stumble upon one by accident.

Back then, he had only briefly considered if or if not to get it as a present, but as always, the mind hadn’t been loud enough to talk him out of spending half a fortune on a man who would surely appreciate the book, but not quite the person it was coming from.

And yet the smile he was regarded with when Gerard looked back up at him was amazed, and warm, so warm. “You are incredible.”

Remus could feel heat creeping up his neck and he returned the smile, his heart making another jump in his chest. Maybe he appreciated him after all. Maybe there was still hope. Hadn’t they been on the phone for three hours only two days ago? And not for the first time. Sometimes it felt like nothing had changed between the two of them, especially not when those blue eyes looked at him like they did right now.

Eventually Gerard moved again, walking back around the desk and past Remus, briefly laying a hand on his shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t stay holed up in here for too long, alright?”

“I won’t, I promise,” Remus nodded and gave Gerard a smile. He would follow soon, writing anything was out of the question right now.

Gerard left the door slightly ajar again as he left, and through the gap the music and voices continued to filter in, now sounding much louder than before. For a moment Remus could see through the glass of his office windows how his tall figure weaved its way through the people outside, and then the crowd had swallowed him.

With a sigh, Remus turned around to his computer and shut it down. He would try to finish the review tomorrow.

Bracing himself for the crowd outside, he got up and straightened himself, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the window glass.

His brown hair was a controlled mess, as he tended to describe it, and his large brown eyes were a stark contrast to his pale face. Now slightly flushed, he noticed and grinned. Gerard had that effect on him.

Without further thinking he pushed the door open and was greeted by cheerful voices and loud Christmas music, the whole editorial staff gathered in the main hall.

It didn’t take long at all until he was noticed by familiar faces, people waving him over, smiling and talking to him. From time to time Remus looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of Gerard again, but he couldn’t find the head full of short brown curls anymore.

It was a few minutes later when the editor-in-chief stepped up on the podium at the front and began his yearly brief speech, a few warm words about the holiday spirit, their successful work, how they couldn’t close over the holidays but would keep the staff required to be in at a minimum.

At that a few of his colleagues looked at Remus, who simply shrugged.

He was one of those who would work over the holidays, just as he had done for the past couple of years. He didn’t mind.

“There is one last announcement I have to make,” their editor-in-chief up there went on, smiling. “And it is a pleasure to be able to do so, since it concerns two of our best and dearest colleagues. Love is a wonderful thing, so let’s give our very best wishes for the engagement of Gerard Dwight and Emilia Grant!”

Remus felt as if everything slowed down, as if time even froze for the moment it took his brain to process the news he had just heard.

He knew that he was staring at Gerard, who was walking up the stairs to the podium with a woman at his side that Remus knew all too well. Or at least her legs, how they had been wrapped around Gerard’s waist as he had stumbled in on them.

He saw that they were smiling and waving, saying words. But he didn’t hear anything, the crowd and every sound around him had turned into a massive blur.

Gerard. Engaged.

Those were the only two words on his mind as he wordlessly put his glass away, grabbed his scarf and coat and left the party.

He didn’t think on the ride back home, the bus rattling over the snowy road, or when he had to walk the last mile because the road was too small for a bus and he had been in the mood for fresh air that morning.

When he arrived at his little cottage in the middle of nowhere, a stone house with a garden and a little hand painted wooden gate in the low stone wall surrounding it, his feet were as numb as he felt.

Only when he had fallen down onto a chair, his hands clutching a steaming mug of tea, he allowed himself to have a small emotional breakdown.

 

***

 

Granted, he hadn’t even paid a lot of attention to the fight. But that changed radically when he had to duck under a glass being thrown his way, and it shattered with a loud crash somewhere behind him.

Sirius Black stared at his girlfriend of two years, eyes widening when he saw her reach for the second glass on the table. “Have you gone mad, put that down! What’s your _problem_?!”

“My problem is _you_ , Sirius!” she insisted, throwing the next glass. “You and that bitch! You slept with her, haven’t you?”

“ _What_?!” Sirius had ducked behind the sofa, but now risked a glance over its back to stare at her again.

"Oh, don't play innocent, I've seen you together!" she yelled and her eyes shot around for something else to throw at him.

“June, for heaven’s sake, stop it!” Sirius said in alarm, already seeing his whole inventory flying around his ears before his inner eye. “Who do you even mean? Annie? Are you really accusing me of sleeping with her?”

“Of course I am!” His girlfriend reached for the ashtray - luckily empty - and held it in her hand, ready to throw it at him. “I _know_ you’re sleeping with her!”

“I’m _not_!” Sirius shot back, holding out his hand as if wanting to keep her from throwing, but not giving up his position behind the sofa. “June, stop, honestly! I’m not sleeping with Annie, or any other woman for that matter!”

“Of course, that’s why you’re working late every other night instead of coming to bed!”

“Because I’m... _working_!”

Sirius really couldn’t believe this was happening. In the previous months things had really taken off, he had queries enough to make trailers to last him two or three years, he had bought a spectacularly nice house in the hills of Hollywood, and he finally had the last proof that it had been the best decision of his life to run away from home when he had been sixteen.

And now _this_.

Of course he had flirted a lot since he had found his feet here in the business, he’d had his fair share of affairs with women and men alike. But never within an actual relationship.

“Sure, every night, and with her!”

The ashtray missed Sirius by inches and he could hear something behind him crash. He didn’t care if it had been the ashtray itself or something else, this was getting ridiculous. And dangerous.

“Oh my God, you’ve lost your bloody mind!”

While June was looking around for something else to throw, Sirius darted out from behind the sofa and grabbed her wrists, trying to keep her from destroying anything else.

“You’re going to stop right now, this is beyond ridiculous!”

“No, it isn’t!” June pulled on Sirius’ hands, trying hard to get free. “We both know you’re incapable of having an actual relationship, Sirius!”

“And you’re telling me that after _two years_?!” he shot back incredulously, shaking his head and letting go of her. “If you want to break up with me, just do it, but stop being absurd!”

“You broke up long ago, you just haven’t noticed! We barely even talk anymore, you just keep living your life, that’s all!”

They stared at each other for a moment, both breathing rapidly, fire in both their eyes.

Sirius knew he could give most - if not all - of the accusations right back to her, but he didn’t. He hadn’t slept enough because yes, he had worked late last night, he’d wanted to relax for just a few hours, maybe have a swim in the pool, because the weather was beautiful even though Santa Ana was blowing, and he was in no mood at all for this.

“Fine!” he finally threw his hands into the air and turned away. Come to think of it, he really had no idea when they’d last had sex... “Fine, believe whatever you want to believe, let’s end this non-relationship then!”

"Fine," she repeated sharply and threw her own hands into the air. "Then it's over! You have your life back!"

"Thank you!" Sirius shot back sarcastically and turned just in time to see June reaching for something new to throw, and he ducked immediately.

"Damn it, June!! You're going to leave my house, _right fucking now_!!!"

"Gladly!" she yelled and turned on her heel, rushing upstairs to pack her things, he assumed. Only five minutes later and without any more words, he heard the sound of the front door slamming shut.

Sirius, who had thrown himself onto the couch, sighed in relief and let his head fall back. For a moment he just lay there, hands buried in his hair, eyes closed, and then stomped both his feet on the couch several times.

When he was done, he sighed again and sat back up, the tension leaving his muscles slowly.

So now he was single again. And back on his own. Just in time for Christmas... Great.

It took about two hours of mostly splashing around in his pool, floating on his back and staring at the midday sky for Sirius to let go of most of his anger. It took about two hours more of working in his studios while trying to do some cutting to realise that he needed... _something_. A distraction. A holiday. A few days off... when had he last done that again?

It was a bad sign when you couldn't even remember, right? Sirius frowned, head propped up on his hand in front of his laptop, slowly circling back and forth in his mind as he stared at the screen.

Eventually he sat up and started typing, looking through spontaneous holiday destinations.

Beach... no, he had that here. Mountains... ugh, he hated skiing. Somewhere they'd actually understand him would be nice too...

Sirius spent about ten minutes clicking around aimlessly and dismissing everything he found. And then his gaze fell on a photograph of a cottage.

A picture right out of a Christmas fairy tale. Snowy fields, a low overgrown stone wall, an almost eskew looking small stone house, Christmas wreath on its wooden door.

The corners of Sirius' mouth twitched into a smile. Maybe that really would do him good, a few days off in... Surrey, he read from the description underneath the picture.

After about five more minutes of further reading and looking, Sirius had found a skype number, stared at it for a few moments, and decided, _to hell with it_.

 

***

 

Remus still didn't feel well. He had no idea when exactly he had left the Christmas party, but it must have been somewhen early. Because when he finally took a glance at his watch, he noticed that it was barely one in the morning, even though he had surely spent hours in bed and had at some point even fallen asleep.

When he had woken up, his eyes were burning red, his hair an even bigger mess than usual and he had a headache.

The only thing that could make it at least a little better was a hot cup of tea or maybe some chocolate. One way or another, he had needed to get up and move.

So now he was sitting in his kitchen, clutching a steaming mug and staring into nothingness.

He should do something. Anything. He knew he should. Do anything but sit here. But he didn't know what.

That was when he heard his laptop make a soft noise. The familiar sound of an incoming text message on skype.

With a frown, briefly wondering who would bother him, and at this time of night, he pulled his laptop closer and saw a new contact asking for a chat.

Being curious as he was, Remus opened the chat window, even though he really didn't feel like talking, and typed.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Yes?_

 

Sirius had prepared himself for a wait, because it was night already in England. So he had gotten up and was halfway through slipping out of his thin longsleeve when his laptop gave a soft 'pling'. He blinked in surprise and immediately hopped back behind his desk chair, arms still tangled inside his shirt, to look at the message. A wide grin spread on his face and he slipped back into his sleeves, sitting and typing a reply.

**BlackStar**:**

_Hi! I'm writing about your house. Because you have it on that holiday website?_

 

Remus blinked in surprise. He had completely forgotten that he had put his house on the website ages ago. One of his more spontaneous ideas, and since then he had never heard about it ever again.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Yes, what about it?_

 

Sirius laughed softly somewhere between surprised and confused. Shouldn’t the other one know what it would be about?

**BlackStar**:**

_I was wondering if it was still free, of course. Over the holidays, I mean._

 

Remus stared at the screen. Did someone actually consider renting his cottage over the holidays? That was … quite a short term action. But before he could even start thinking about what he’d do if he was to leave his house for a few days, suddenly an idea formed in his mind.

Maybe that was exactly the change he needed in his life right now, everyone was always telling him to be more spontaneous after all. Considering for a moment, he then started typing.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Yes, it is. But the cottage is really only available for home exchange. We switch houses, cars, everything. I haven't done it before but friends of mine have._

 

“What?” Sirius laughed quietly, staring at the words on the screen for a few moments. Home exchange, he’d never heard of that before...

He went back to the main site for a moment and looked over it again, but there was nothing like it written there. So he went back to his skype window and answered.

**BlackStar**:**

_So you’re saying you want to come here? Live in my house while I’m in yours?_

 

Remus nibbled on his lower lip, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. He hoped this hadn’t been too blunt now?

 **LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Basically, yes. That’s what it means._

 

Sirius had his head propped up on his hands again, chewing thoughtfully on a fresh gum. Would he trust a complete stranger with his house? He wondered what kind of person would live in a cute cottage such as the one on the picture.

Eventually he started typing again.

**BlackStar**:**

_But you know nothing about my home. What if I lived in a dump somewhere in... Tanzania?_

 

It didn’t take long for Remus to reply this time, his hands were already faster than his head.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_As long as it’s far away, I don’t mind at all._

 

Sirius’ eyebrows rose up as he read the answer.

**BlackStar**:**

_Sounds like someone is as desperately in need of a holiday as I am._

 

Remus could only produce a pitiful grin. Indeed, it had been a couple of years since his last holidays. When had it been? Where had it been again? Oh right, there had been this one weekend trip with Gerard once, but that had been during the early stages of their rel- their affair, and as he hadn’t taken any days off, it didn’t really count. He just needed some time alone, far off from everyone else.

 **LoonyWolf1003:  
** _God yes, I am._

 

Again Sirius had to laugh, briefly shaking his head. Whoever that was on the other end, it seemed like they had an understanding.

And it made the decision much easier.

**BlackStar**:**

_Alright, count me in. So when can we do this? Is tomorrow too soon?_

 

Remus huffed and looked around in his little cottage. As always, everything was clean and neat, there was not much he would need to prepare to have someone else living there.

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_Tomorrow’s perfect! I’m Remus, by the way. I’m very normal, neat-freak, healthy, non-smoker, single …_

“And I hate my life,” he added, only to himself.

 

So it was a guy on the other end of the line. Sirius wondered how old, but then figured with a shrug that it wouldn’t really make a difference anyway.

**BlackStar**:**

_Nice to meet you, Remus, my name’s Sirius. I’m... not very normal, to be honest, at least according to my friends. But don’t worry about your house, I’ll keep it neat, I’m only one of those occasional smokers, I can stop that as long as I’m there, I don’t do drugs, have no criminal record, I’m... uh, single too._

Since about six hours, to be exact.

 

Remus looked at the words on his screen, still nibbling on his lower lip. Either that person on the other side, this Sirius, had a weird sense of humour, or he really wasn’t that normal. But right now, Remus didn’t care, and the words made him grin at least a bit, that was all he needed right now.

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_Nice to meet you, Sirius. Sounds promising. So, where do you live?_

“Please, somewhere far away …” Remus muttered to himself.

 

“Oh, you’re going to like that...” Sirius muttered with a grin.

**BlackStar**:**

_I have a house in L.A._

 

Remus shrieked. He had never done anything like that before, but he wouldn’t know how else to describe the sound that had just slipped through his lips as he was still gaping at the chat window.

Los Angeles??? Jackpot!

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_I really hope you’re not joking!_

 

He couldn’t help it, he was laughing again, for some reason giddy about making someone else happy simply with this. Maybe that was his good deed he had to do for Christmas this year.

**BlackStar**:**

_Totally not joking._

 

“Oh! My! God!!” Remus couldn’t help it, he had to laugh. L.A. was perfect, it was warm, it was far away, it was just brilliant! A sound out of the corner of his kitchen made him look up.

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_Great! Oh, one more thing, I hope you don’t mind dogs?_

 

“Oh God, please don’t let it be a doormat,” Sirius muttered to himself, but even then the corners of his mouth twitched. He couldn’t stand tiny dogs...

**BlackStar**:**

_No, that’s fine. I hope he’ll like me. Or is it a she?_

 

Remus looked into the round dark eyes of his faithful black german shepherd.

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_Don’t worry, there’s never been anyone before who Padfoot didn’t like._

 

Again Sirius found himself grinning, and now he really started to wonder what kind of person Remus was.

**BlackStar**:**

_Padfoot, huh? Alright, anything else I need to know?_

 

Remus grinned. He had always earned looks for that name, especially since Padfoot was not exactly small, but surely one of the nicest dogs he had ever come across.

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_Yeah, that’s kind of a story how he got that name._

_But no, I guess that’s it. Except, maybe, that my house is quite small? But it's clean and fully furnished, there’s warm water and everything one needs to survive the holidays._

 

For a moment Sirius thought about asking Remus about the story, but then shook the thought off. If he really flew over in a few hours, there were still a lot of things he needed to get done. Book a flight, pack his things, inform his co-workers, finish his work... remove possible remains from June’s stuff from his house. And clean up the shards still littering the ground.

**BlackStar**:**

_Don’t worry, I’ve seen the picture. I’m really looking forward to this._

_So, I suppose I should start packing then._

 

Right, packing! His own house was alright, but Remus didn’t even know what to pack, or if his suitcase was even still usable.

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_Great, I’ll do the same._

Still grinning a little giddily over the suddenly so exciting week ahead, he added his exact address and where Sirius would have to go when he arrived at the airport.

 

Grabbing a pen and slip of paper, Sirius scribbled down what Remus wrote him, and gave his own address back. For a moment he looked at the note, fighting with himself, his fingers itching. But he balled his hands to fists, gave an unwilling sound, spun in one circle on his stool and refrained from looking the address up on google maps.

There was time for all of that, when he was actually in England - for the first time again since having left home.

But Surry wasn’t Grimmauld Place, the cute little cottage was far away and stood for everything his childhood home didn’t.

And Sirius couldn’t wait to go.

**BlackStar**:**

_Have a nice flight, Remus, and I hope you’ll have a good time here!_

 

Remus still couldn’t believe this had actually happened. Was happening! He typed a quick reply.

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_Thanks, the same to you!_

He quickly copied the address and the first thing he did was booking a flight, before he rushed back into his bedroom to pull out the long unused suitcase from under his bed and started to think about what he would need for Christmas in California.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who has read, and left kudos and comments so far! We hope you'll enjoy this next installment. :)

After having been on the plane for almost eleven hours, Sirius felt stiff all over, despite his Business class seat. He had tried to sleep to make the time go by faster, but even though he'd had enough room to stretch his long legs and recline his seat, the noise of the engines had been too loud. And since the thought of stuffing something into his ears disgusted him, he had watched three movies, dozed a bit, and listened to some music.

It had felt good to stand and walk again when he was finally off the plane, and the cold English air on his face and ruffling his hair was sharp but refreshing. There were traces of snow on the streets, but the further the long black car drove him out into the country, the whiter the landscape outside became. Sirius watched quietly with his head propped up on his hand, entirely lost in thought. The streets became smaller, the houses... cuter, there was simply no other word for it.

And then, on a narrow street leading into the fields, just after having left town, the car slowed down and stopped. Sirius blinked and looked up ahead at the driver who was glancing back at him.

“I’m sorry, sir, but you will have to go on alone from here. The street is too narrow for this car to turn back around.”

Sirius opened his mouth and looked out the window again. There was nothing here, no house in sight. “How far is it?”

“Oh, just go down the road, it’ll lead you right up to the cottage.”

Right. It seemed like he didn’t have much of a choice, and so Sirius left the car, the driver getting him his suitcase. And when he drove off again, Sirius stood there on his own, out on a tiny street in the snow with a suitcase by his feet.

“Right,” he muttered to himself, not sure if he should laugh or frown. But standing here didn’t get him anywhere, and so he sighed, extracted the handle of the trolley case, wrapped the scarf tighter around himself and started walking.

When the driver had said ‘just down the road’, Sirius had expected the house to be somewhere around the bend. But there was no house after about half a mile. Fields, and trees, and snow, and the tiny road he trudged along, his trolley bumping behind him. Sirius huffed and loosened his scarf again.

After about a mile he contemplated getting out of his jacket while, at the same time, his feet were getting numb. He had to pull the trolley up a slope, and the thing was bloody heavy, damn it, and his shoes weren’t exactly made for this, and where was the cottage anyway? And couldn’t Remus have warned him?

Muttering curses into the winter air, Sirius reached the top of the hill, and there, on the other side, about two hundred meters down again, it was.

The cottage looked almost exactly like it had on the picture he had seen on the internet. Lying behind a stone fence along the tiny road he was on, surrounded by a garden, wreath on its blue door, the roof slightly dented. And it looked cozy and beautiful enough to bring a smile to Sirius’ face, despite the long walk, despite that he felt somewhat sweaty and tired. But at least he was there.

He found the key in a tiny terracotta pot with lid on the windowsill to his right, just like Remus had said he would, and the door let him in after a minimum of fuss.

It was tiny. And cluttered, and colourful, and cozy, and Sirius looked around in amazement. The floor and beams supporting the upper floor were wooden, as almost all of the rustic furniture, most of the walls stone. There were books everywhere, a fireplace in both kitchen and living room, vintage couch and sofa with flowery pattern, pillows and blankets in faded colours, pictures and paintings on the walls, a few Christmas decorations.

So, so different from his large, modern villa.

“Awesome,” Sirius grinned, slowly turning around himself, and almost had a heart attack.

On the foot of the stairs a large black dog had appeared, standing there just looking at him curiously, its tail wagging slowly. Sirius clutched his chest and breathed a few times, muttering “Holy bloody fuck!” with emphasis.

He stared at the dog for a few more moments, but as there was no sign whatsoever of any kind of hostility, Sirius took a deep breath and relaxed.

“Uh, hello,” he said and came closer slowly. “Bloody hell, you’re no doormat alright. What are you, a German shepard? Why are you all black, huh?” The dog came a few steps closer, still looking curiously at him, and Sirius crouched down, holding his hand up to let him sniff at it, and then trying carefully to pet the black head. A grin spread on Sirius’ features. “You’re a miserable guard dog, you know that? Padfoot, I suppose? What’s up with that name anyway? Alright if I call you Pads?”

Padfoot made a soft, content sound, and Sirius couldn’t help laughing.

“Alright, you and I are gonna be fine. Now... you just tell me whenever you need... dog stuff, and I’ll go unpack, take a bath, and a nap, maybe both at the same time.” Sirius smiled and ruffled the dog’s ears. “Deal?”

Padfoot huffed in reply.

 

***

 

The flight had taken ages, at least that was what it felt like to Remus, and hadn’t necessarily been pleasant. The space on his economy class seat was limited, non-existent actually, especially for his long legs.

But it was all he could afford and all that had been available at short notice.

When he had called his boss, he had earned a laugh from the other end of the line. He had thought Remus was joking when he had told him that he wanted to take the days off. But Remus hadn’t been joking, and as he was probably the employee who’d had the fewest days off over the last couple of years, there had been no other way for his boss but to agree.

And now he was sitting on the plane heading to California, his nose buried in a book, as sleep was out of the question, with those two old ladies to his left and right that kept chatting all the time.

When he finally arrived, he knew that he should feel tired. He hadn’t slept since he had chatted with Sirius, but he was too excited to even think about sleeping now that he saw the huge houses rushing by, palm trees wherever he looked, blue sky above green hills.

It looked fantastic, and it was so wonderfully warm that even Remus took off his jacket and jumper, leaving only his longsleeve on, and pulled the rest of his clothes into a ball while his cab took him to the address that Sirius had given him.

He couldn’t believe he was actually in the middle of Los Angeles, a city he had always dreamed of, but never thought he would visit.

And not for the first time he wondered what house Sirius would own, or what his reasons had been to run away from this wonderful place for the holidays.

Now that Remus was watching the scenery, he thought that, for a writer, he should maybe be able to think of more words to describe the landscape than just 'wonderful', 'fantastic' or 'brilliant'. But he felt too giddy, too much like a child on Christmas Eve (which wasn’t that far off at least) to think of anything else.

It took a while, even though Remus thought that the ride could go on forever, there was so much to see. A new fantastic (there it was again) house behind every corner, large fences and huge gardens, things he had never seen before, except on television.

But eventually the driver pulled over and stopped the car, holding out his hand to receive his payment.

Remus blinked. His gaze darted out of the window.

“Are… are you sure this is correct?” he asked the driver, glancing again at his piece of paper where he had printed out Sirius’ address.

“Yeah, that’s it, man. And it’s still 28.50.” The driver wasn’t exactly polite, but Remus, mouth still ajar, paid the man, and while he pulled his suitcase out of the boot of the car, he could hear him mutter a short “Brits,” before he took off.

Remus was still staring at the paper, then around, to spot any kind of street sign. But the number was correct. That was the address.

And yet, it couldn’t be.

He stood in front of a fence, alternating between white stones and a hedge, and behind the huge brown gate he could see the driveway that pulled up to a house, bigger than anything he had imagined.

The gate was open, just as Sirius had said, but now Remus thought that his exchange partner could at least have warned him about what to expect.

Because the house he saw wasn’t a house, it was a white mansion, two storeys high and who knew how wide, a patio, even a small fountain in the middle of the driveway … it was too much for Remus to register all at once.

Still baffled he closed the gate and walked up to the main door, finding the key as promised under one of the small bushes that lined up in the front yard.

He opened the door and pulled his suitcase inside with him, only to be even more surprised.

He let out a huff as he looked around, gaping at the multiple rooms, the open floors and all that space!

Wherever he looked, there was still another room, everything clean and modern, everything looking like right from a TV show, nothing out of place, nothing too much, just room.

He left his suitcase in the entrance hall and stumbled through the rooms, spotting the kitchen, the dining room (a real dining room! He always ate in his kitchen!) that filed out into the biggest living room he had ever seen, a bathroom with a bathtub that looked as if he fit in there twice. He discovered what seemed to be some kind of office (he closed that door quickly again, work was nothing he wanted to think about and nothing he wanted to mess with, because, whatever it was that Sirius Black was doing, it was something very important and something that had made him very rich) and a fitness room (what kind of person would have an own personal fitness room?) and finally a room that contained the largest amount of DVDs and BluRays that he had ever seen in his whole life, with a flat screen of the size of half a cinema screen installed in the middle of the wall. He almost giggled when he saw the bedroom, the bed not only big enough for two, but maybe five people if he had to make a guess.

Finally, when he walked back downstairs to grab his suitcase, he saw the door that led outside the back.

“Oh my… is that a pool?”

Without waiting another second he was outside, letting the warm breeze ruffle his hair again as he stared wordlessly at the pool and the garden, stretching out behind mansion with green grass and beds of flowers.

Remus broke into a laugh that edged on maniacal, and maybe he was a little, as this surely had to be a dream and he must be fantasising all of this.

This was going to be the best holiday of his whole damn life, starting with unpacking and taking a swim in that pool!

 

***

 

Some time later Sirius had completed his tour through the cottage, had found the bedroom ("... adorable."), the bathroom ("... how am I supposed to fit in that tub?"), and a tiny car parked around the house ("... no horse buggy then.")

He had taken a bath in the free standing tub that was so small that he could only stretch his legs if he put his feet up on the ledge and had them sticking out entirely over the tub, making him wonder if Remus really was this tiny. He had driven back into town to get some groceries, surviving several near heart attacks at passing other cars on the wrong side of the narrow street. He had taken Pads out for a walk, had fed him and made himself some dinner, and had afterwards dozed off on the couch.

When Sirius woke up again, it was ten in the evening, and he had to admit to himself that his sleeping rhythm was royally fucked.

Giving up on sleep for the time being, Sirius slipped out from under the blanket and instantly started shivering, cold having seeped in from outside. He wrapped his scarf back around himself, stocked up the fireplace and lit it up, the fire immediately chasing the worst cold away.

As soon as that had been solved, Sirius took to wandering through the house again, taking his time especially in the room that had shelves all over its walls, filled to bursting with more books.

It was kind of endearing, really.

There were a few photos in frames on the walls or standing around, and Sirius looked at all of them too. There was an older couple - must be the parents - and one with them together with a boy of about ten, small and skinny, with brown hair and large brown eyes, but a wide smile. Sirius found himself unable not to smile back. "Hi, Remus."

There were more pictures, of two guys in their mid-twenties, arms around each other's shoulders, laughing, one tall and brown-haired, the other with a mess of black hair. Another one with the same brown-haired guy and a laughing, black-haired toddler, and Sirius started to wonder.

That one guy had eyes and hair like the boy in the picture, but he was so tall. And what about that toddler? And the other guy? And why weren't there any girls in any of the pictures to go with the guys?

It wasn't like he was going to get any answers, so Sirius eventually went up to bed, with the bottle of wine and all the snacks he had bought, and started watching TV.

For some time he went mindlessly through the channels and then settled on a late night showing of Die Hard.

The highlight for Sirius was unexpected, coming in the form of the TV edition of his newest finished trailer, and he sat up straight in bed. It looked good, Sirius thought and grinned, looking down at Pads who was lying next to the bed, watching him.

"See that? _That_ is why they pay me the big bucks."

Pads looked exceedingly unimpressed, and so Sirius huffed out a laugh and went back to watching TV.

It was maybe another hour later that, suddenly and very unexpectedly, the doorbell went, and Sirius froze in the middle of chewing.

He looked at Pads, Pads looked at him, but of course didn't move further.

"What the hell…" Sirius muttered and slipped out of bed. One o'clock, the grandfather clock told him as he passed it, but before he could wonder any more, he already heard a voice muffled from outside just as he came down the wooden stairs.

“Remus, open up!” a male voice called, sounding quite drunk and accompanied by more knocks on the front door.

Sirius had no idea what was going on, but he'd always been too curious not to investigate. So he went to open the door just as the guy on the other side started calling again.

“Reeemuuuus!” The guy's voice now started to sound impatient, “I know you’re home you pansy, I’ve seen the lights on! Hurry up, it’s freezing!”

Sirius was greeted by the back of a guy with a tousled mop of black hair and hunched up shoulders, obviously just having turned, and he drew up his eyebrows.

"To spare you the disappointment: I’m not Remus."

The young man turned back around, swaying heavily and eyes wide with surprise, but Sirius recognised him immediately from the pictures on Remus’ wall.

“Right, you're not Remus,” he observed. “Or if you are I'm much drunker than I realized. I'm sorry for my profanity. I wasn't expecting you.”

“Obviously,” Sirius grinned and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. Whoever the guy was, this was distinctly amusing. “Didn’t expect you either.”

"Yeah," the guy tilted his head and looked at Sirius. "And who are you if you're not Remus?"

“I’m the guy that rented his house over the holidays,” he returned, still grinning. “If you tell me who you are, I might let you in where it’s warm.”

"I think I need a loo, first of all," the black-haired man said and swayed once more. "I'm James, Remus knows me …" He paused for a moment. "You rented his house?"

Sirius snorted in amusement, grabbed James by the jacket, and pulled him into the hall to be able to close the door behind him, because now _he_ was starting to get cold. “Yep, I rented his house. Because he had it on this holiday website. Two weeks until the day before New Year’s, I’m here, he’s over at my house in L.A., we exchanged everything pretty spontaneously.”

"Yeah, I mean… he didn't tell me and I thought maybe you were his new… wait… L.A.?" the guy, James, muttered and only halfway through his sentence he seemed to notice that he was already inside.

“Yeah, L.A.,” Sirius nodded, rubbing his bare arms the sleeping shirt didn’t cover, but he couldn’t help still grinning. _My God you’re so wasted._ “His new what?”

“His new stallion. Lover. I dunno…” James pointed at the door to the toilet, but his next words were more muttered to himself. “Thought he might’ve been over that bastard by now, would’ve done him some good…” He opened the door and directed his - admittedly very small bit of attention - back to Sirius. “‘xcuse me for a moment, yes?”

Sirius could only blink at his unexpected guest - or rather, at the tiny wooden door he closed behind himself, leading to an equally tiny toilet room.

“Interesting,” he then said to himself, laughed quietly, and then turned. In the kitchen he found a glass and some water, and just when he filled it, he could hear the flush going inside the small bathroom.

James was slowly running a hand back and forth over the back of his head when he stumbled out, as if absentmindedly messing it up even more, and Sirius held the glass out to him.

“Here, drink.”

“Thanks,” James said and took the glass. He seemed to have splashed his face with water, as a few of the strands that hung into his face were wet, but only slightly more aware of what was going on.

He took a sip and tried to focus on Sirius over the rim of the glass. After he had emptied half of it, he put it down, still staring.

“So… who are you again?”

Sirius huffed, but felt the grin coming back. “Right. How about this: we go sit down over by the fireplace, and for every question you get to ask me, I’ll get one in return.”

There certainly were enough he had now.

“What would you wanna ask me?” James immediately wanted to know.

“Come on, you show up here in the middle of the night, entirely wasted, unannounced, and expect me not to be curious?”

“Okay, okay!” James admitted and threw his hands in the air, causing him to almost spill the water. “Oops,” he said and quickly kept it safe between his hands. He was already walking over to one of the cosy armchairs when he went on.

“So, who’s asking first? Me? You?”

“You can start,” Sirius grinned and followed his unexpected guest. Maybe this night would get more interesting than he had intended it to.

“Mhm,” James nodded and didn’t wait long to ask. “Who are you and what was that about a house exchange?”

“My name,” he answered and let himself fall onto the couch, “is Sirius Black. Born in England, lived in L.A. for the past twelve years. I was in desperate need of a holiday and found this cottage on the internet, but since your friend obviously was in an even greater need of a holiday, he told me I’d only get it if he could go to my house for those two weeks in return.”

“Why’d you leave England?” James asked without a pause.

“My turn!” Sirius shot back immediately, but not unimpressed by how, no matter how drunk the other was, he still picked up on that one detail. “Are you gay?”

“What?” James burst out and laughed. “God, no, not my area.”

Sirius shrugged and leaned back on the couch, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. “Just wondered.”

“Why? But that doesn’t count as real question!” the black haired man added quickly.

“Of course it’s a question! Deal with it or ask another one,” Sirius smirked.

James seemed to consider for a moment and took another sip from his glass.

“Alright, why’d you leave England?”

_Fair enough_ , Sirius thought and shrugged. “I was sixteen, I hated my parents, I ran away to have a life of my own.”

“And now you came here for a holiday.”

Sirius wasn’t sure if James had meant it as a question or simply stated a fact, but either way, he was looking at him, waiting for him to say something.

“I have no problem at all with England itself,” Sirius half-smiled back, and then thought of what the question was he wanted to know most next. “Alright, how do you know Remus?”

“Went to school together,” James said and got up, walked into the kitchen and - from the sound of it - refilled his glass with water. He definitely knew the house well.

“We’ve been together on one of those private schools, boring stuff and all, and got him in my dorm. Ever since then we stick together, been some times.” He returned to his place with his freshly filled glass. “You don’t know him at all?”

Sirius shook his head, propped up on one hand, but then reconsidered. “Well. I know he’s a book addict, a dog person, probably a little shy... a neat-freak, non-smoker... usually settled but not chicken-hearted either. How am I doing so far?”

“Not too bad,” James nodded and flashed his teeth in a grin. “Why do you think he’s shy or not chicken-hearted?”

“ _My_ turn,” Sirius insisted again, but laughed. “How come you went out here after your drink, it’s in the middle of bloody nowhere! Did you walk all the way?”

“Oh no no no, you asked a question, it was question for question!” James nodded, still not really sobering up. “But yeah, I walked here, Remus lets me crash on his couch whenever I had a little too much… better than driving home, you see?”

“Alright, alright, whatever, so that was a question then,” Sirius rolled his eyes but grinned widely. He started to really like the guy. “And yes, that’s very responsible and all… but why don’t you just walk home, it can’t be even further away, can it? _And_ ,” he added, holding up a hand as James opened his mouth to protest, “I think he’s shy because he lives all the way out here on his own, but he’s no chicken cause he jumped into this exchange thing without even having seen a picture of my house.”

“Alright. I don’t cause home’s… not a place to be drunk. And it is further away,” James replied, but the grin immediately returned. “Yeah, he’s got more to him than he looks, helped me to cause a lot of trouble at school, but no one ever suspected him. He just bat his eyelashes at the teachers and everyone thought the poor boy’s completely innocent and got only corrupted by me. My ass.”

James snickered, his water forgotten, and Sirius couldn’t help laughing at his rendition. He reconciled the new information he was getting with the man in the pictures he thought was Remus, adding a bit of colour to a simple sketch.

“What are you working that you needed that holiday that spontaneously?”

“I work on putting together trailers for movies. And… I suppose I worked a bit much recently,” Sirius admitted, slowly rubbing the back of his neck. June hadn’t been wrong about that.

James pulled a disbelieving frown.

“You put trailers together?”

Sirius only nodded.

“Hm. And your question?” James asked.

He considered for a moment.

“Remus is going through a breakup, right? That’s why he wanted to get away from here?”

James paused for a moment and looked at his water, probably considering how much he could tell a man he barely knew.

“Well, yeah, guess you heard by now that Remus is gay, not a big deal that you know, he never exactly kept it a secret, he just didn’t throw it right in people’s faces.” James shrugged and put the water away eventually. “He’s been with a guy for the past three years, big love on his side. The guy? Not so much. You know, the type who doesn’t admit that he likes blokes as well, even though he keeps fucking one. So the big crash came when Remus found that arse in bed with a woman. My, the weeks after were pathetic, I can tell you. Remus’ been heartbroken. But it’s been a couple of months since then, so I doubt that’s why. Though they still keep contact, they talk and write, are probably still shagging too if you ask me, so… yeah, haven’t talked to him in a few days, I don’t know why he left so suddenly. Without telling me, that is.”

“Oh.”

That was all Sirius knew to say for a moment, because damn, that really was a much bigger mess than he was in. He could imagine how much something like that sucked, and he felt vague sympathy for… this guy he didn’t even know. Which made it all the stranger.

Sirius nibbled on his thumb nail until he realised what he was doing and quickly put his hand down again.

“Still sounds awful. Maybe something happened with the guy. I’m sure he’ll tell you if you ask him, I can give you the number if you want to call and make sure he’s okay.”

James’ face turned into a sudden frown.

“Wait, are you saying he doesn’t have his phone with him?”

"Err." Sirius blinked. "No idea," he then admitted with a shrug. "I have mine turned off, I suppose that's why I thought…"

“Cause he never leaves home without it,” James muttered and struggled, obviously trying to get his own phone out of his pocket. “But you know what’s the saddest part?” the black haired man asked, all drunken honesty in his face, speaking on before Sirius even had the chance to say anything. “That he’s actually quite a clever boy,” James explained as if that was the most obvious thing in the world, and finally pulled his phone out of the one too many pockets of his jeans. “But as soon as it comes to this arse, he’s like… dunno, he became blind or something. Bastard calls him in the middle of the night and Remus jumps. One would think he’d have enough sense after a while…”

That coming from someone who sat in Remus’ armchair at one in the morning, drunk as a sailor. But Sirius felt that there was a difference and that James probably appreciated the fact that he could show up at Remus’ at any hour, and that in a way, he was making up for it.

It wasn't like Sirius really knew what that was like. He’d never been in love so much to be in that kind of place, and it was easy to shake your head and say that would never happen to you… but in the end, you could never know.

"I'm really sorry about that," he eventually said again, scratching the back of his head. "Maybe he really got away to sort himself though."

“I hope so,” James groaned and stared at his phone, looking puzzled. Maybe he was still too drunk to remember how to unlock it. He looked like it, that much was obvious.

"Hey… tell you what," Sirius said then, grinning slightly. "You get some sleep before you call, alright?" Maybe that was better for everyone included, who knew what James would say if he got Remus on the phone now. "Any idea where the blankets are?"

“Yeah, in that cupboard there,” James pointed without looking, his attention still on the phone where he was still trying to unlock the screen by wiping his finger over the surface. Without success.

Then he looked up.

“You let me crash here?”

"Sure," Sirius shrugged as he walked over to the white wooden cupboard. "Can't throw you out again now, can I?" It was that, and of course the fact that James would have to walk back to… wherever, and it was freezing, and James was too drunk for another hike through the cold. Also, he kind of liked him.

“Thanks mate, that’s great,” his visitor muttered and put his phone away. “Got any more questions?” he asked suddenly.

Sirius threw pillow and blanket over to James, laughing when it hit him in the face. "We'll continue our question game tomorrow, yeah?"

“Whenever you want.” James pulled the pillow down and threw it further onto the couch where he was supposed to sleep.

"Alright then. Night, keeping my fingers crossed that the hangover won’t kill you," Sirius smirked and turned, walking up the stairs leading from living to bedroom again.

“Don’t worry,” James called after him, “I’m tough.”

Only seconds later, Sirius could already hear the sound of James’ soft snoring sounding up to him from downstairs. He wondered if Remus’ friend had at least managed to get out of his shoes and coat, of if he had fallen asleep just like that.

He turned the TV off and cleaned the worst of the mess up on and around the bed. It was two in the morning now, and Sirius thought he might be able to catch some sleep himself if he tried it now. So after a brief trip to the bathroom, he crawled back into bed, stretched out on his stomach, wrapped one arm around the pillow and closed his eyes.

He was asleep in a matter of minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am _so_ incredibly sorry about this, it was my thesis' fault, I swear. It really wasn't planned to have such a long hiatus from posting, and the next chapters won't take as long to post, promise.
> 
> So hopefully some of you are still here and still interested in reading, that would be amazing for us. :)

Remus woke up on his first morning in sunny California and stretched his arms and legs out on the soft mattress. This bed was heaven, warm and bouncy and so large! If he had been ten years younger, he would have tried to abuse it as a trampoline, but even now it was hard for him not to. Playing his own voice of reason, he quickly slipped out of bed.

Luckily he never needed much sleep and was good at adapting to timezones, but when he had first tried to take a nap, it had been bright daylight outside and the huge windows hadn’t helped in letting him get any rest. Eventually, however, he had found the switch for the shutters. And blessed darkness had surrounded him.

Now he peered out of the window as he hit the switch again and waited for the outside to reappear.

The view was still stunning and once more he wondered why Sirius had wanted to leave this little paradise in exchange for a small stuffed cottage. James always joked that all that was missing was the smell of cats instead of Padfoot.

Thinking of his best friend, Remus suddenly realised that he had completely forgotten to call him and tell him what was going on. He would do so later today, after he had another swim in that amazing pool and maybe a little walk outside.

On his way to the bathroom, his gaze scraped along the walls, looking for something, anything, that indicated what kind of a person Sirius Black might be.

Sirius Black was a man who enjoyed modern furniture. Sirius Black was not a man who seemed to appreciate much decor. Sirius Black was a man who liked films. Sirius Black was not a man who had many pictures around his house.

Now that he thought about it, Remus didn’t remember any pictures at all when he had taken his first tour around the house. But he would take a closer look again, once he was done with everything.

He brushed his teeth and splashed cold water onto his face to completely wake up, then grabbed a towel and was just on his way back into the bedroom to change into some swimming trunks when he heard something ringing.

And with horror he realised that it wasn’t the phone, but the front gate.

After unfreezing himself from his moment of stupor, Remus picked up the speaker.

“Uhm … yes?” he asked carefully.

“Sirius, you moron, get your ass out of bed and open up, I _told_ you I need those books back!” a female voice greeted him almost before he had even started his own greeting, obviously only having waited for the faint ‘click’ in the line.

A little baffled, his mouth hanging open for a moment, Remus blinked. He certainly hadn’t expected _this_ kind of reaction.

“Uh… whoever’s there, Sirius is not at home and… wait, I’m trying to open the gate… how do I open that bloody… oh, now maybe?” Remus had the speaker clutched between his ear and his shoulder while he was searching for the right button that would open the gate. A soft buzz sounded as he hit a big one and he heard a metallic click through the phone.

There was a pause on the other end, and then the same voice said, “Who the hell are you? I’m coming inside.”

Remus figured as much, and quickly hurried down the stairs to the front door to open it, realising just as he had turned and pulled on the doorknob that he was still wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.

The woman who came up to the him was still young, around his own age or even a few years younger, her skin a bit fairer than he would have expected here in California, her long hair a striking red. She was tall, thin and pretty, could have almost been a model for all the experience Remus had (not) in that area, especially since she wore high heels, skinny jeans, a long top and a very short black leather jacket over it.

When she saw him, her eyebrows rose in curious surprise. “You’re a new one.”

“Yeah, I’m a n- … sorry, a new what?” Remus looked puzzled and scratched the back of his head in bewilderment.

The woman cracked a smile at him. “You’re cute. I’m Lily,” she said, came inside self-evidently and then held out her hand to him.

“Thanks, uh…” Remus looked at her, still not quite sure who she was or what she was doing here, but only looking at her with the dumbest face he could imagine wouldn’t help, so he stretched out his own hand to shake hers.

“Hi, I’m Remus.”

“Nice to meet you,” she winked at him, and then toed her shoes off. “So, Sirius isn’t here? Working already? That’s a bit early for him, huh?”

“Ah, right.” Remus suddenly realised that the girl - Lily, he remembered - probably didn’t know about Sirius’ spontaneous trip to the old world.

“Uh, no, actually, Sirius is on vacation. He’s in Surrey for the next two weeks, in my house, while I’m… well. While I’m here.”

The explanation earned him a stunned stare. For a moment Lily didn’t do or say anything else, and then she laughed quietly. “Ooookay. Right. Holiday in… England? Can only be England with that cute accent of yours. Since _when_?”

Remus felt his cheeks heating up slightly. That was the first time anyone had called his accent ‘ _cute_ ’ and he wasn’t sure if that had really been a sort of compliment.

“Actually, since a couple of hours. This was just my first night here and you, well, took me a little by surprise.”

He grinned awkwardly and gestured down his body to indicate that he would surely not run around in checkered boxers and a plain tee if he had expected any visitors.

Lily followed his indication, looked him up and down, and her lips quirked into a smile. “I see. Still could’ve said something… wait. Did June go with him?”

“June?” Remus hadn’t heard that name before, at least not in combination with his exchange partner. God, that sounded like they were at a class exchange back in their school days.

“Yeah, are they both going? Or just Sirius?”

“As far as I know it’s only him,” Remus said slowly. “Who’s June?”

At his answer, Lily’s face brightened and she threw her hands into the air. “Hallelujah! About bloody time. June’s history, hopefully, finally. His girlfriend,” she added when Remus still looked at her with pulled-up eyebrows.

He recalled parts of the chat they had had that night when they had arranged the exchange and nodded.

“I think he said he was single, so your chances might be good that she’s history.”

“Now that’s good news at least, they were driving me up the _wall_ ,” Lily rolled her eyes but was still grinning a little. “So, Remus,” she then said, green eyes sparkling as she crossed her arms and eyed him. “Does exchanging houses mean exchanging friends? Up for some breakfast and telling me a bit about yourself?”

Remus’ confusion grew even more. That girl was far off everything he had encountered so far and it seemed like she was determined to keep him in a state of surprise.

He paused, his brain sorting out which question to answer first and trying to catch up with her speed.

“Alright, first of all, I don’t want to appear rude, but who are you exactly? A friend of Sirius, I assume?”

“Indeed I am,” she said, and then, after a pause, broke into warm laughter. “I’m sorry, you look like I’m completely confusing you.”

“Yeah, you kind of do,” Remus admitted with a shy smile, one that she returned.

“Yes, Sirius and I are friends. We met when I was seventeen, he was nineteen by then, and I hated him. Thought he was the biggest jerk in history. But, as it turned out when we got to know each other better and I outgrew puberty for good, he’s actually one of the good guys. So I still put up with him.”

While he listened to Lily’s explanation, Remus tried to imagine a nineteen year old boy - of which he had no idea what he looked like even now - pulling a slightly younger version of Lily’s pigtails.

Surely it hadn’t happened like that, but the image made him grin nevertheless.

“Alright. And to answer your questions, yes, maybe it does include exchanging friends, and it definitely does include breakfast.”

Lily’s smile grew. “Perfect,” she beamed and turned, skipping purposefully towards the kitchen. “Coffee? I’m really sorry about confusing you, if there’s anything you need to know, just ask, okay?”

“I doubt Sirius has any tea or hot chocolate?” Remus asked as he followed Lily into Sirius’ kitchen. It wasn’t like he didn’t like coffee, there were just other hot beverages which he prefered.

“Oh… I honestly don’t know,” Lily answered, looking thoughtful for a moment before starting to look through all the cupboards. “We’re both coffee persons, but maybe you’re lucky…”

“If not, it’s okay, I’m all good with coffee,” Remus assured and he realised just now that he maybe needed to buy some groceries to survive the next two weeks. He didn’t know if Sirius had any food here and in case he didn’t, where any shops were. Maybe it hadn’t been too bad that Lily had shown up.

“Not here, not here… marmalade, honey, chocolate spread… hm. Peanut butter. Do you like peanut butter?” Lily went through the cupboards one by one, talking to Remus over her shoulder.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Remus slipped onto one of the high chairs behind the centered kitchen counter that could be used as a breakfast table. He ignored the one in the dining room for now.

“And the chocolate spread, please?” He gazed around, his eyes scanning the cupboards and shelves. “Where are the plates? I could help.”

“Oh, in there,” Lily pointed towards the other end of the kitchen and started taking out different spreads. “There in the bread box should be some toast, cutlery in the second drawer to the right of the sink. I’ll get the stuff from the fridge.”

Remus nodded and followed her instructions until the breakfast table was set and all that was missing was the coffee that was still brewing.

“You know this kitchen quite well,” Remus noted without any judgement in his voice. It showed that Lily must indeed be a regular guest in this house.

“HA! Look what I found,” the redhead turned gleefully, having fished a pack of unopened Earl Grey from the very top of one cupboard. She held it up next to her face and gave him a proud grin before coming over. “We’ve eaten here often enough together. He’s not the best cook, and before he moved here, I sometimes came over to get him something good and homemade. June hated it of course, but she’s even worse than he is, so we never stopped. Do you want eggs?”

“Mhm.” Eggs sounded great. “So it’s quite obvious that you didn’t like her, hm? Was there any reason?”

Lily rolled her eyes on her way back to the fridge. “Scrambled, fried, cooked? And she was… dunno. She was alright, per se, you know? But she went on my nerves too often, I guess she couldn’t really handle other girls around him, even though there was never anything between us.”

“Scrambled, maybe? Should I help?” he offered. “So she was the jealous type. And that drove you nuts?”  
First he had wanted to ask if there had been other reasons for her to be the jealous type, but then he figured that it was none of his business.

“Oh no, you just stay there, I’ll be done in a minute. And sometimes it did, yes. I’ve known for about a year that they weren’t going to last, I was just waiting for them to catch up, you know?”

“You mean you were just waiting for them to break up?” Remus forgot that he didn’t want to be nosy and just stared at the back of Lily’s head. “Why?”

Lily smiled wryly, scrambling the eggs in a small bowl. “Let’s just say I knew that Sirius wouldn’t be happy with her forever. Neither would she. They might have looked like they’re a good fit, but deep down they’re too different.”

“Too different because they wanted different things in life?” Remus asked further. He wondered briefly why he kept asking, but he had to admit that he wanted to know what kind of a man Sirius Black was, the man who had spontaneously traded houses with him. Because what he had seen so far hadn’t given much away about the man himself.

“Not different in their goals,” Lily returned thoughtfully, pouring the eggs into the pan. “I think they’re both people who look for fulfillment in both work and relationship. But… it’s hard to explain. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them _completely_ , a hundred percent relaxed and happy and themselves with each other, you know?”

“Mhm,” Remus nodded and chewed on his lower lip. He could feel his thoughts trailing off. “Say, Sirius, what kind of a person is he? What does he do? I mean, I can see he likes films and music,” he pointed vaguely in direction of the hi-fi stereo system and the hugest collection of CDs and records (and even some tapes!) he had ever seen, “and that he must have a pretty good job, but… you know, I’m curious. Why would he trade all this with a stranger so spontaneously?”

"Hmm…" Lily hummed, coming over and shovelling scrambled eggs onto his and her plate before sitting down. "How to explain Sirius Black… He's someone who wants to make the most of his life, you know? He's really ambitious and knows how to work, but only if it's something he likes and believes in. He's stubborn as hell and really persistent until he just gets what he wants. And that's what brought him where he is today after he ran away from his family in London when he was sixteen."

Lily paused in favour of biting into her toast, looking like she was thinking about how to go on, but Remus had already quirked up an eyebrow in surprise. He didn’t know why, as he hardly knew anything about the man, but somehow he hadn’t expected Sirius to be someone who had run away from home and had come here from London to make it this far.

Lily smiled a little at seeing his surprise. "You wouldn't really believe it if you saw him either. People think he's a party person, that he has his head full of antics and flirts way too much, and that's true. But he's also really clever and the least cowardly and the most loyal person I've ever seen."

“And you said you didn’t like him to begin with?” Remus chuckled and finally picked up his fork, picking at his scrambled eggs before they got cold.

That made Lily laugh. "Oh no, I really didn't. Because he has a wicked sense of humour, and if you're on the wrong end of it and can't handle it, it's not pretty. The people he doesn’t care about… well, he really _doesn't_ care about, and he doesn't care what they think of him. That makes him sound like a bit of a jerk, I suppose, and sometimes he is, but… He helped me out of a really tight spot once, and he's always there when I need someone, without even asking. It's like…" She paused, a grin tugging on the corners of her mouth. "I'd entrust my children to him if I had any, and I'd know I'd get back the worst troublemakers, but I'd also know that he'd die to keep them safe. Strange analogy, but does it help?"

“Yes, I think it does help,” Remus nodded and couldn’t help but smile. Somehow Sirius reminded him a bit of James, _especially_ when Lily had brought up the child analogy. And yet he thought that there were differences. It wasn’t like James didn’t work hard, but sometimes it seemed to Remus like his best friend lacked a bit of a goal in life and had lost the determination he once had. While Remus had grown up and maybe matured a bit too much, James was sometimes still a child.

He would imagine Sirius to be somewhere in between.

He took a slice of toast and covered it with chocolate spread.

"And to answer your previous question," Lily added, "he's spontaneous and temperamental enough, so if they really broke up, I'm not surprised he went off on such a thing. He could use a bit of a holiday too, I just hope he doesn’t get bored," she grinned.

“What, do I need to fear for my house in case he gets bored?” Remus asked, stopping midway in biting into his toast.

"Oh no," Lily laughed, taking a large sip of her coffee. "If he gets bored he either goes and shakes up your pub scene, or he comes home early."

“Wait,” Remus put his toast down, “you mean he either parties or he just stays home? That… doesn’t make much sense, does it? I mean it’s not very consequent.”

Lily looked puzzled for a moment until it seemed to click. "No no no, I meant if he gets all too bored, he simply gets a flight home. But don't worry, I don't think that will happen. He has a way of finding people to entertain him."

“Ah, right…” Remus nodded. “Well, I’m not sure Surrey is the right place to find entertaining people, so maybe we should expect him any day soon.”

Lily grinned. "Don't underestimate his social skills. Anyway, Remus, don't you think its your turn now?" she smiled and bat her eyelashes suggestively.

Starled, Remus swallowed the bite of toast he had been chewing on and looked at Lily.

“My turn? With what?”

"Telling me about yourself!"

“Oh, right.” He put his breakfast down. He wasn’t good at telling people about himself, not at all. He thought there was nothing interesting to say about him and his life actually quite boring. But it seemed like Lily wanted to know.

He shrugged.

“What do you want to know?”

"Your job, your hobbies, your best friend since you already know me, and what made you come here," Lily ticked off without pause.

“Well, technically, I don’t _know_ you,” Remus smirked. So far they had only talked about Sirius, but not really about Lily.

But she huffed and waved that away. "But I only have the role of the best friend here, if we were in a movie you'd be the protagonist, so _you're_ the interesting one between you and me."

“What, so suddenly I’m the protagonist in my own movie?” Remus laughed. He had forgotten his breakfast and was instead fascinated by Lily, how much energy she seemed to possess and how she put every bit of it into her rapid speech.

"Of course you are. You and Sirius, naturally," she smiled. "But I have to admit, for it to work you'd both need to find your one true love during those two weeks. Like a double romance comedy."

Remus couldn’t help but snort.  
“I think a movie about my life would be quite boring. No one would be interested to know what I’m doing, trust me. And I highly doubt that I’ll find the love of my life within the short span of two weeks…” _Nor am I really in the mood to_ , he thought, but kept quiet. He had gone on this holiday to avoid love and all the trouble it caused, he had no desire to change that.

"Aaww really? Anyway, I'm interested, so spill," Lily contradicted, giving him a winning smile.

Remus rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Alright, you want details? My name’s Remus Lupin, 28 years old, born and raised in Surrey, basically never left it, and I work for a newspaper and write book reviews or whatever they need someone for. Which basically sums up my hobbies, books and writing. And my best friend is James, who I’ve known for more than 15 years… damn, we’re getting old.”

Lily reached over and patted his hand. "Don't worry, sweetheart, that's a fate we all share. So why did you come here so spontaneously?"

“Bad break-up, too,” Remus answered, but then reconsidered his words. “No, actually not really a break-up, more… it’s hard to explain.”  
He gave up. He wasn’t sure if Lily would really want to know the whole story and he wasn’t sure if he was in the mood to tell, either.

When he met her eyes again, Lily was looking at him with quiet sympathy. “I’m sorry,” she said and gave him a small smile. “Then we’ll see to it that you’ll have a good time here, right? I need to leave you alone in a few, I have this appointment, but how about I’ll give you today to get familiar with everything, and tomorrow we take a little tour?”

“Thanks,” Remus returned her smile. “Sure, so far I’m completely free.” Then he stopped. “Why did you come here in first place, again?”

“The books,” she reminded him, grinning a little. “I ranted at you at the gate, remember? I’ll just go upstairs and look for them, they should either be in his study or bedroom.”

“Right,” Remus remembered, amused. “You go looking for the books and I’ll clean this up, alright?”

He pointed at the table and already started to collect the dishes.

“I like this arrangement,” she grinned back at him, hopped down from her stool and vanished into the hall, skipping up the stairs.

Remus cleaned and wiped the table and put everything back into its place and the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, a luxury he didn’t have at home. He never used enough to fill it completely.

He could already hear Lily jumping back down the stairs when he was done, and when she reappeared in the kitchen, she held three books up. "Found them."

“Perfect,” Remus smiled. “So, tomorrow then?”

“I’ll pick you up at eleven?”

“Sounds great.”

“Right.” Lily came closer again, and there was a warm look in her green eyes. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Remus,” she said and leaned over to kiss both his cheeks.

He knew he was blushing, simply out of surprise, as he didn’t know any people that were so friendly and openly affectionate towards strangers.

But Lily seemed to be the type and her warm and cheerful nature was something that Remus liked. She really was a nice person from what he could tell. And maybe having someone to show him around wasn’t too bad after all.

“The pleasure was all mine,” he replied and gave her a brief hug. “Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.”

“In more than sleeping shorts this time,” she grinned and winked at him before turning and going back to the hall where she slipped into her high heels again.

“Of course,” he grinned. “As I said, that is not what I normally wear when I’m expecting someone, I promise.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ve come in here seeing people in far less,” she rolled her eyes, but her tone was good-natured.

Remus’ eyebrows shot back up.

“Do I want to know…?”

“No idea, I don’t know you _that_ well yet, sweetheart.”

“Right. Maybe tomorrow then,” Remus laughed and held the door open for her.

“Alright. Have a great day!” she smiled and gave him a little wave over her shoulder, and then she was on her way, the wind picking up her red hair to let it fly.

Remus watched her until the wooden gate had closed behind her.

He felt like, even though the days would probably not be as quiet as he had thought they would be, he would enjoy his time here very much.

At least, since he was awake, he hadn’t thought about Gerard for one bit, except when Lily had asked him. And he intended to keep it that way.

 

***

 

Sirius was jerked out of his sleep by a familiar sound. It was muffled and he disoriented with sleep, so it was mostly instinct that made him roll his upper body out of bed to reach down to his suitcase and rummage for his mobile. When he had it, he rolled onto his back, eyes closed again, rubbing them with the heel of his hand.

“Yes?”

“Hey you moron, why didn’t you tell me that you’d be running off to England over the holidays?” was the immediate greeting that sounded loud and clear over the phone, and Sirius winced, slightly more awake now.

Shit, why was his mobile on at all, he’d wanted to turn it off... and damn, he’d forgotten to tell her.

“Hey Red,” he mumbled. “Sorry… umm… I’m in England?”

“Yeah, I noticed that when I showed up at your house earlier,” Lily laughed. “What happened?”

“Figured I could do with a holiday,” he muttered back, yawning. “Speaking of, you do know what time it is here, right?”

“Oh, I figured you can deal with only a couple of hours, I’ve seen you wide awake after less,” she shrugged it off. “And your trip has nothing to do with June nowhere to be seen around the house? Instead this really cute guy opened the door, all ruffled and in boxers and I thought I had interrupted something between the two of you? I thought he was your new lover.” Her amusement was so audible that Sirius didn’t even need to picture Lily to know that she was grinning all over her face.

“What?” He blinked this time, Remus’ bedroom swimming into view before his eyes. Then he laughed and rolled onto his side, definitely awake now. “No, he’s just the guy whose house I’m in. Did you scare him?”

“That’s what he told me then. Shame,” Lily replied. “No, I don’t think so. He looked a bit like a lost puppy, but I don’t think I scared him off as he agreed to meet again.”

“What? Shame?” he huffed and raised his eyebrows. “Were you really so desperate for June and me to break up that you were that happy about the prospect of me having someone new, or is the guy really _that_ cute?”

“Both!” Lily shot back immediately without even pausing to think about it.

Sirius sighed. He had known that Lily and June would have never been friends, and he had been able to live with it. But maybe it was good that this was over now.

“Right. I only saw one or two pictures.”

“And?” she simply asked.

“Well, from what I’ve seen,” he stressed, because in all honesty, it wasn’t much, “he is cute. But why are you asking, really? Not like I’m ever going to see him.”

“Well, no, maybe not, but who knows? I was just curious,” she chuckled. “And don’t think I didn’t notice how you tried to avoid the topic. June’s gone then?”

Before he answered, Sirius stalled for a moment by rubbing his hand slowly over his face. “Yeah,” he said eventually. “She threw a fit because she thought I’m sleeping with Annie.”

“What?” Lily broke into laughter. “Annie? Really? Oh, June should know she’s so not your type.”

“She should… she didn’t,” he answered, but couldn’t quite help the barely noticeable trace of bitterness that tinged the words.

“Are you okay then?” Lily asked, calmer now.

“Yeah,” Sirius returned, and in all honesty he didn’t have to think about the answer all that much. “I suppose it was inevitable at some point… Do you think I’m incapable of relationships?” he asked then, grimacing at himself the second he said it.

Lily took a moment before she answered.

“Maybe you just need the right person?”

“What _is_ the right person? I’ve never started a relationship with someone who I felt was the _wrong_ person, you know?”

“I know, Sirius.” He could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “I know. But we both know that you’re always a hundred percent when you’re into something. But only then. You love your work and that’s why you’re so damn amazing at what you’re doing. But as soon as you stop caring about something, you drop it. And until now, that’s what happened in the… how many actual relationships did you have?”

“Umm. Three.” Sirius had opened his eyes again and was now staring out the window. It was snowing. “Does that mean they weren’t the right ones, or that I’m an uncaring bastard?”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault. You know my opinion about June, she never deserved that you ever cared about her like that. And she didn’t help to keep your interest up. I think that maybe once you meet the right person, you’ll find it very easy to care. And then you won’t stop.”

Sirius was quiet for a while after that, pondering his friend’s words. He didn’t quite agree with her on June, because he’d never have been with her for two years if there hadn’t been something… even though Lily was right in that it hadn’t worked anymore for quite a while. He just hoped she was right about the rest as well, because no matter how much he of course enjoyed having the freedom to do whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted - he didn’t want that for the rest of his life.

“Alright… hope you know what you’re talking about. So, did you tell any embarrassing stories about me?”

“Have you ever been in love, Sirius?” Lily suddenly asked instead of answering him. “Really in love, I mean.”

“Err.” The question caught him too off-guard to have an immediate, eloquent answer to. “I don’t know? I think so? But how am I supposed to know what really being in love is like if it’s not what I had so far?”

“See?” Lily said on the other side of the line. “That’s a no. You would know if you had ever felt real love for another person. And I’m sure once you do that, you’ll find it easy to keep a relationship alive.”

He sighed quietly and turned onto his front, half smushing his face in the pillow. "Ugh. Can we move on from the depressing topics? What about the embarrassing stories…?"

“I was a nice girl and didn’t even tell the story about how you almost managed to set your house on fire during that one party on New Years Eve.”

Sirius half groaned, half laughed. "I think I'm almost proud of you."

“Almost?” Lily protested with a huff. “Okay, when I see him tomorrow I'll tell him every little embarrassing story that I know about you, Sirius Black. And you know those are a lot!”

"No, nooo don't!" Sirius protested, but it wasn't like it really mattered all that much, because it wouldn't really be of consequence. And yet…

“What’s in it for me if I keep quiet, hm?”

"Whatever you want," Sirius half-smirked, sliding his arm around the pillow.

"You know me well enough to know that this was a bad, a really bad offer!" Lily chuckled gleefully. "Should I tell him anything else instead? Something specific?"

"Doesn't matter, as long as you don't speak a word of that ever again," Sirius smiled. "But what do you mean, something specific?"

“I don’t know. Anything you want him to know?”

"Umm. That he shouldn't leave my fridge completely empty for when I return?"

“I don’t think he’s the type who would let you starve.”

“Lily… you’re talking like you’re trying to hook me up with someone I’ve, one, never seen, and two, never will see.”

“I meant that he wouldn’t leave without refilling your fridge!”

“Alright, this conversation is turning all kinds of strange, we should stop!” Sirius laughed, covering his eyes with his hand. “You know I’m here now, you’ve berated me, you know I’m good. Have a nice… evening. Don’t corrupt the boy!”

“I never corrupted anyone, that’s always been you,” Lily grinned. “Have a good day, Sirius.”

“Bye," he grinned, disconnected, and let the phone fall onto the bed next to him. For a moment he simply stretched, contemplating if he should just go back to sleep. But he was reasonably awake now, and a glance at the clock told him it was half past nine, so it wasn’t that godforsaken early in the morning anymore. So he eventually rolled out of bed and padded down the stairs.

James was still fast asleep on the couch, making Sirius grin a little. He let him be and instead walked over into the kitchen because… coffee.

There he found Pads sitting before his bowl, looking at him out of hopeful dark eyes, and he couldn’t help laughing and brushing a hand over his head.

“Sorry, mate. Give me a moment and you’ll have breakfast.”

After having filled both bowls with water and food, Sirius went back on his coffee mission, finding the machine easily enough, but that was where the problem started. It looked like an old one, and of a sort that Sirius had never owned, so he needed a moment to figure out what exactly to do. But even when he _thought_ he pushed the right buttons, the thing stayed dead.

Sirius already thought he’d have to wake James after all, when his gaze fell onto his laptop, and he paused.

It was worth at least a try.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We both want to thank all of you guys who are here to read this, and of course especially those leaving kudos and comments. Thank you so much, this has been and is a lot of fun to write, and to share with you only makes it better. :)

After Lily had left, Remus hurried back upstairs to finally change into some bathing trunks and have that swim he had planned for the morning.

The weather was so warm and lovely, it felt more like a summer in Surrey than winter. Only now did he realise how - different to his own little cottage - the house hadn’t been decorated for Christmas at all. But since the temperatures now were still well up to 20 degrees and higher, he didn’t feel much of that Christmas Spirit himself. But that was what he had wanted, getting away from everything and everyone. And maybe that included the holidays as such, too.

An hour later, freshly changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, he strolled around the house again.

Lily’s words had made him curious and had made him think. He still didn’t know that much about Sirius Black, but he sounded interesting, that much Remus was sure about.

He found himself back in the small home cinema room and his finger trailed along one shelf, reading the titles of the seemingly endless lines of DVDs. He wondered how many of those Sirius had actually seen. He must be a pretty busy guy to be able to afford a place like this.

Remus stopped and his gaze fell through the open door right to the one he had quickly closed again yesterday. Sirius’ study.

Yes, he had to admit, he was curious. Very curious indeed, and so he nibbled on his lip for about a minute, before he told himself, “Oh, fuck it,” and went over. He carefully pushed the door open as if he expected someone to jump at him or some sort of alarm to go off, but of course none of that happened. So Remus stepped inside and looked at the piles of papers, discs and USB sticks, all sitting on the desk in the middle of the room.

“Almost like my own office,” he muttered, just that his wasn't at home and had books instead of CDs and thumb drives stacked in huge piles.

Then he noticed the two small silver frames on one corner of the desk, almost being pushed off by a stack of what looked like scripts? Remus really started to wonder what it was that Sirius did for a living.

Letting curiosity win once again, Remus stepped closer and picked up the first frame.

It showed Lily, and it must have been a recent picture as she looked hardly any different than she had done this morning, her long red hair falling in curls over her shoulders. She seemed to be at some kind of party and held a drink in her hand. Next to her stood a man, his arm casually wrapped around Lily’s waist and smiling widely, just like her. The black hair was kept a bit longer and framed a face that Remus would almost describe as ‘pretty’, in lack of a better word. Really good looking at least, with eyes that made Remus stare for a moment. Pitch black they stared into the camera, but despite their colour, they appeared to sparkle mischievously and were somehow… warm.

So this was Sirius Black? Maybe…

He picked up the second picture. The same man looked at him, but a good ten years younger, even though it was hard to guess. But this time there was another boy next to him, younger, but the same black hair and similar - though not equally - pretty features.

So if that one guy was indeed Sirius Black, the other looked so similar to him it could only be his brother or some other blood relative.

The picture had the close angle of a selfie and it looked like Sirius had taken it himself by holding the camera with his own hand.

For some reason Remus thought that this way of taking pictures fit into the image he was slowly getting of Sirius Black.

_A good looking image,_ shot through his head. But then he waved that thought off. From what he knew and had seen so far about L.A., everyone was pretty or good looking here. It seemed to be some sort of law.

He carefully put the pictures back onto their place on the desk and went back upstairs to get his laptop. He needed to write to James, tell him about what had happened and why he was here.  
A mail would do, he decided,to explain everything.

Remus started typing, only a quick few lines in which he explained to James what had happened at the Christmas Party and that he had therefore taken the chance he had been offered and had run off to Los Angeles for the holidays.

He hit send only after adding that he wished him a Merry Christmas in case they wouldn’t talk until then and that he should also forward the greetings to Harry. The little one would get his present from Uncle Remus a bit later this year.

When he was done, Remus stretched his arms and heard his bones and muscles snap back into place. The feeling was relaxing, something he hadn’t felt in a while.

He glanced outside and decided he would use the day as Lily had suggested to get to know the area, meaning he would take a walk and maybe later watch a movie out of Sirius’ huge collection. There would be something to fit his mood, for sure.

So it wasn’t until much, much later that day - it had become late evening actually - that he came back to his laptop to check if he had gotten a reply from James yet.

There wasn’t one, but maybe he shouldn’t be surprised. It was only shortly after nine in the morning in England, and the day he had spent here had been a whole night there.

But just when he was about to close his laptop again, a message blinked into existence on Skype.

 

**BlackStar**:**

_So, how does your coffee machine thing work?_

 

Remus blinked a little confusedly at the message and then started typing.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _You fill it with water and coffee and then push the red button?_

 

Sirius huffed and leaned over the back of the chair to reply.

**BlackStar**:**

_I did that! But nothing happens?_

 

Remus frowned. And then couldn’t suppress a grin.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Did you check if it was plugged in?_

 

Sirius’ eyebrows rose up at the question and he went back over to the machine. One glance behind it showed him that, yes, it wasn’t plugged in, and he stared in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

**BlackStar**:**

_… really? Why wasn’t it plugged in?!_

 

Remus chuckled as he replied.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Because I hardly ever use it. Only in case a friend of mine comes over. I prefer tea or hot chocolate, to be honest._

 

Sirius had started the coffee machine already when the message came in, considerably more relaxed now that he knew he was going to get his fix of coffee. At the answer he smiled wryly and threw a glance into the living room where James was still sleeping.

**BlackStar**:**

_With friend, do you by any chance mean the guy still dead asleep on the couch?_

 

Remus stared at the screen. James hadn’t… no, he hadn’t shown up on exactly that day, had he? But knowing his luck, James had probably picked exactly that night to go out and have a drink and had shown up at Remus’ door, just to find him gone…

With a groan, Remus pulled his laptop closer.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_James? Don’t tell me he showed up last night?_

 

The grin on Sirius’ face widened and, with a steaming mug of coffee in his hands, he sat down on the chair in front of his laptop, pulling one leg up under him.

**BlackStar**:**

_He did. Very drunk, I might add. Our conversation was a lot of fun, let me tell you._

 

Remus groaned again.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_What did he say…?_

 

Sipping his coffee, Sirius considered for a moment.

**BlackStar**:**

_How you two met. That you only had to bat your eyelashes at the teachers and they were convinced you were entirely innocent. ;)_

 

Remus felt the sudden urge to bang his head onto the table. He knew how much James loved to talk, already when he was sober, even worse when he was drunk.

He made a mental note to slowly strangle his best friend in case he had spilled even more.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Did he say that, hm? I still claim that he was just leading me astray._

 

Sirius snickered quietly at the answer and took another sip, relishing the taste on his tongue.

**BlackStar**:**

_Only those can be led astray who want to be led astray._

 

Remus had to grin and shook his head. Right, it wasn’t like he hadn’t enjoyed those times.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Wise words. But believe me, trying to hold against a force like James is… quite impossible._

_But maybe that’s why I like the guy so much, it never got nor gets boring._

 

As if knowing he was talked about, James made a sleepy sound over in the living room, but when Sirius leaned back to catch a glimpse of him, he still wasn’t awake.

**BlackStar**:**

_Oh, I can definitely see that. So are you going to have to kill him when you get back because he gets very talkative when drunk?_

 

Remus chuckled. Yeah, he probably would have to, if Sirius was already asking like that.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_That depends on what else he has told you?_

 

It wasn’t like Sirius really wanted to get James into trouble with his friend for spilling private things about him, but he wasn’t sure if it was fair not to say anything about it to Remus either.

**BlackStar**:**

_Let’s just say he’s worried about you._

 

Remus’ eyebrow quirked up. He hadn’t suspected an answer like that.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_He is? Why? What did he say?_

 

His cup was empty by now, and Sirius contemplated making himself another one. And how to put this into words without revealing just about everything.

**BlackStar**:**

_Because of your situation with that guy. Not that I know a whole lot about it, just… yeah, he seemed worried._

 

Remus closed his eyes and sighed deeply, a silent curse at James hidden somewhere in there.

So James had practically spilled everything. He knew the guy long enough to know that once he was talking, he _kept_ talking.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _He told you about that, hm?_

He paused for a moment, then typed again.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _I’m sorry, I’m sure that was nothing you wanted to hear or was of much interest to you._

 

Right. Sirius remembered how he had specifically asked about that information, but that didn’t really matter now.

**BlackStar**:**

_Don’t worry, if he’d been all too horrible, I’d have stopped him. So, I do hope you’ll have a nice two weeks off._

Sirius paused there for a moment, wanting to add that he hoped it was without the guy. But that probably really wasn’t his place.

 

Remus chewed on his lower lip. He wasn’t quite sure how he should feel about the fact that someone who was practically a stranger had been told about his last relationship. And knowing James, probably in great detail. Feeling a bit ashamed, he rubbed his eyes. But then he remembered that Lily had told him a couple of things, too.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Thanks, I’m trying. You could have warned me, though._

 

For a moment Sirius just looked at the screen, trying to figure out what exactly Remus meant. Pads interrupted his musings for a moment when he obviously wanted to be let outside and, figuring since there was no one around for miles and Pads obviously knew what he was doing, sitting demonstratively in front of the back door, Sirius shrugged and simply let him out to run for a while.

**BlackStar**:**

_Warned you? About what?_

 

Remus chuckled in amusement.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _That you live in a mansion like bloody Bruce Wayne!_

 

That made him laugh out briefly and he smirked.

**BlackStar**:**

_Where’d have been the fun in that? And it’s not even close to Bruce Wayne standard._

 

Remus shot a glance around the house, glass and chrome glistening in the light of the many lamps.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Right, it’s more Tony Stark._

_But really, it gave me a bit of a shock. I didn’t expected it to be this huge._

 

With the way Remus made references to comic book heroes, Sirius was mentally handing out more and more brownie points.

**BlackStar**:**

_If I had the money of Tony freaking Stark, I’d be on constant holiday on an island in the Maldives. I know the house is big, but that (and my car) is the first real luxury I granted myself since coming to L.A. It was the one thing I wanted._

 

It made Remus laugh, reading Sirius’ answer, and then he looked around once more. What would he do, if he had that much money? Would he go and buy a bigger house? A new car? Or go on holidays?  
He couldn’t really tell, because if he was honest, apart from certain emotional turmoils, he was quite pleased with his life.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Okay, maybe not just as much. I didn’t spot any hidden superhero suits, either._

_But really, what’s your job, if I may ask?_

_Because this is quite stunning. (And the house is really, really nice.)_

 

Even though Sirius knew that his house was something to be envied for, he couldn’t help smiling at the compliment.

**BlackStar**:**

_Thanks. And no, I’m not clever enough to build superhero suits… neither do I have any superhero powers._

_And I make trailers for movies. Cutting them, I mean._

 

Remus’ eyebrows shot back up. He didn’t know that cutting trailers for movies was something that brought you from a runaway up into such a nice house in the middle of the Hollywood Hills.

He considered his reply for a moment.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _I’m sure you have to be clever to make it this far. Sounds really interesting, I have to say._

He paused, thinking about how much he was already willing to reveal.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Was it such a stressful year that you needed some time off so quickly?_

 

That was usually the reply Sirius got for telling anyone outside of Hollywood about his job, and it always made him grin. But it was probably to be expected, because who really thought about these things if that kind of business was really far away?

**BlackStar**:**

_I suppose I did work a bit too much those past few months. Also, when I said I was single? I’ve been for exactly two days now, so it was a good time to get away._

 

Remus saw the lines on his screen and he couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for Sirius.

**LoonyWolf1003:**  
_So our situations weren’t that different, huh?  
I hope you can relax a bit and enjoy your time, too. Even though it’s not in what seems to be half a castle._

 

Finishing his second cup of coffee as the answer came in, Sirius smiled faintly.

**BlackStar**:**

_No, they’re not. Except, from what I’ve heard, mine isn’t so messy._

_I’m sure I will. And I wanted the cottage, that’s why I came here. And if it gets all too boring and quiet, I’ll force James to entertain me. He seems like a good person to go to for that._

 

“Messy…?” Remus muttered, but when he thought about it, Sirius was probably right. It had been a mess, not only the past week, but overall, the past three years had been. He just hadn’t wanted to see it himself.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Probably. I hope it wasn’t._

_Oh yes, James is the right man to go to. He can show you around._

_Speaking of, I met a friend of yours, too._

 

“Yeah, I was told,” he chuckled quietly. Pads had shown up outside the door again, and so he went to let him back in before answering.

**BlackStar**:**

_Oh, right, Lily. She called me earlier to berate me about leaving without telling her, so I’ve heard of that. How did it go? She said you’re going to meet up again, so I suppose she hasn’t frightened you off?_

 

“Oh, she called you, hm?” Remus smirked. He should have expected something like that, Lily just seemed like the type. Though, considering the time difference, the call must have come at a not quite civilised time.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _No, she was nice, don’t worry. She promised to show me around a bit. Can’t believe she called you already._

 

Sirius, however, only huffed in quiet amusement.

**BlackStar**:**

_Nah, I’m not surprised at all. And that’s good. Just tell her to leave you in peace whenever you need it, alright?_

 

Remus nodded to himself and snickered quietly.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Don't worry, I'm a big boy, I'm good at telling people to leave me alone._

He had written and sent the words before he had really thought about them. He closed his eyes and quickly kept typing.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_I hope she didn't wake you too early?_

 

“Are you?” was the first thing that went through Sirius’ head as he read Remus’ reply. He thought about that for a moment, if, what had come to his mind first - Remus’ inability to break it off with that guy of his - was in all actuality something entirely different, or if it was only different in Remus’ perception.

He had just shaken the thought off and started typing a reply when a groan came from the living room, and he leaned back again to glance over.

James had half risen to one elbow and was now blinking around owlishly, making Sirius grin.

**BlackStar**:**

_It was alright, don’t worry. Speaking of, James just woke up. I think I’ll go be a decent substitute for you and get him some water._

 

Remus could almost see the image of a groaning James before his inner eye. He had seen it too many times to not know what his best friend looked like after a ‘tough night’.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Okay, better make him a cup of coffee, too. He’ll need it. And give Padfoot a hug from me, will you? I hope he’s behaving._

 

Sirius had already stood up and leaned over the table again to type a quick reply before shutting the laptop down.

**BlackStar**:**

_I will. And don’t worry, Pads and I are very good friends. :) Have a good night, maybe we’ll hear from each other again. Bye!_

He straightened and got a glass of water that he took over into the living room, giving James a grin as he sat the glass down in front of him on the couch table.

“Morning. Still know who I am?”

James was still rubbing his eyes as he nodded.

“Mhm. Remember that much.”

“Great,” Sirius smiled. “Is there anything you need?”

“Coffee?” James croaked hopefully. “And shower.”

Sirius nodded, sympathetically amused. “You go get a shower, mate, I’ll make breakfast.”

“Sounds perfect,” the other man mumbled and got up, slowly finding his way to the bathroom. Sirius watched for a moment how James walked the stairs up a little unsteadily, and then went back into the kitchen. He packed the laptop away, set the table, searched the kitchen for anything appropriate for breakfast, raided the fridge, prepared toast and brewed fresh coffee.

It took a while, then he could hear James stumble back into the kitchen, his face flushed from cold water, his hair still wet, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses on his nose.

“Feeling better?” Sirius asked, slowly pushing a steaming cup of coffee over the table towards James.

“Yeah, a lot, thanks.” James sat down on a free chair and reached for the coffee, inhaling the scent. “Just need to stop sleeping with my contacts in.”

“Sorry, didn’t know about those or I’d have reminded you,” Sirius said, buttering a slice of toast. “There’s nothing wrong with the glasses though, you know?”

“Until you break your third pair,” James grinned and took a gulp of coffee. “Thanks, you’re saving my life.”

“Oh, that’s the second time I’ve been told that in the last three days. My good deeds meter is going through the roof,” Sirius grinned back, putting chocolate spread and peanut butter in two layers onto his toast.

“The second time?” James put the mug down and reached for a slice of toast as well. For the state he had been in yesterday, he looked quite well and fit this morning, now that he had washed and had some coffee.

“Yeah, Remus said that after we made our deal to switch houses. Just had a brief chat with him by the way, he sounded totally fine.”

“He did, hm?” James grinned and chewed on a bite of his toast, covered in jam. “What did he say? Is he already getting lost in the big country?”

Sirius grinned. “He compared me to both Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark, which was, I have to admit, kind of awesome. And don’t worry, he already met your counterpart, so getting lost isn’t gonna happen since she seems to have taken him under her wings.”

A smirk appeared on James' face as he kept chewing, but whatever he was thinking, he only asked, “My counterpart? Did he run into your best friend then?”

Sirius nodded and told what he knew over coffee and toast. He gave a brief description of the whirlwind that was Lily Evans and how they had met, with James snickering over his mental image of Remus being pulled through L.A. by a redhead. From there they moved on to talk briefly about work, and more at length about movies in general before discovering their joint love for the London Broncos and spending about half an hour talking rugby.

When breakfast was over, Sirius insisted on driving James home instead of letting him walk all the way back through the snow, and was laughed at all the way for his skittishness about driving on the left side of the road.

It felt like having made a friend.


	5. Chapter 5

The following days passed for Remus as quickly as none had ever done before.

Lily had kept her promise and picked him up the next day to show him around town, up the Hollywood Hills and down Hollywood Boulevard.

Remus had been honest when he had said that he had never left Surrey before, and the contrast between the small snowy houses of his hometown and the large mansions that lined the streets of Los Angeles flooded with the warm sunlight of California couldn’t be any more noticeable.

He had certainly never suspected that he would one day be able to run around in a simple t-shirt and jeans while he was passing decorated Christmas trees, and even after a couple of days it still felt strange to him.

Lily told him what there was to know about the areas, where to go for shopping, where he could get a decent meal, what trivia and talk people shared about certain places.

He told her about himself, about his home, about James and how they grew up. And of course she told him more about Sirius.

Which was the reason why in the evenings, he had started to chat with Sirius on a regular basis.

It had just happened like that, that one of them texted the other when they saw they were online. They chatted about their days, what they had done that specific day and what their friends had told them.

It became a sort of regular thing, that at his fifth day in L.A., Remus found himself already settled down with a cup of steaming hot tea in front of his laptop, waiting for the grey dot next to Sirius’ Skype account to turn green and indicate that he was awake and online.

 

Sirius wondered if he was going to make a habit out of waking up earlier in England than he did back home. He certainly had for the past few days, and the first thing he had always done (sometimes even before coffee!), seemed to be opening his laptop, settling back into the pillows and have a chat with Remus.

He liked hearing about what the other man did, alone or together with Lily, about his enthusiasm and palpable happiness that simmered through his words. That was why he also preferred to hear about it in their chats, and not from the occasional calls with Lily, even though those were a lot of fun as well.

This morning was no different to the previous ones. As soon as Sirius was halfway awake, he dragged the laptop up onto the bed, and while he started it up, he crawled out of bed, almost stumbling over Pads who was stretched out on the ground, sleeping happily. Down in the kitchen he quickly went through his coffee routine, shivering a little in the cool air outside of his sheets and the cold floor beneath his feet. As soon as he had his cup, he walked back up, tickled the black dog teasingly with his toes, slid back into bed when Pads only huffed and rolled up into a large ball of black fur, and started Skype.

**BlackStar**:**

_Morning, Loony Wolf._

 

As soon as Remus heard the familiar sound of an incoming message, he was back behind the screen and smiled widely.

**LoonyWolf1003:**

_Morning! You’re up early today._

 

Sirius huffed out a smile and made himself more comfortable. He took a sip from his coffee and then had to put it on the nightstand to be able to reply.

**BlackStar**:**

_Seems I’m getting used to English times. I think I have about an hour this time before Pads is up._

 

Remus smiled. He could see his dog lying lazily on the ground, unwilling to move before the sun wouldn’t at least be able to tickle his nose.

He had to admit that he missed him a little bit.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Yeah, I bet. How is he? Hope he’s not causing any trouble?_

 

Sirius had just gotten his cup back when the answer already came, and so he couldn’t do more than take a quick sip before he had to put it down again.

**BlackStar**:**

_None at all, he’s a great dog. Told you we’re friends. :) I actually enjoy going out with him on these long walks from time to time._

 

Remus smiled at the words. Sure, Padfoot looked like a huge, scary dog, but he was probably the tamest he had ever seen.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Yeah, he never caused any trouble so far, but I better check from time to time. ;)_

_And you’ve gotten used to everything by now? No more near accidents while driving?_

 

Having just cuddled back into the pillows behind him, Sirius snickered quietly. He looked longingly at his steaming cup of coffee for which he didn’t have his hands free nearly enough, and then replied.

**BlackStar**:**

_Nah, it’s actually not that bad after all. Hey, would you mind putting the video on? Can’t properly type and drink my coffee at the same time..._

 

Remus blinked and reread the line on the screen. A video chat? But what was he supposed to say? It was something entirely different to talk to each other than simply type and maybe needing a moment to reply… And why was he even concerned about this?

Swallowing down the short bout of nervousness, wherever it was coming from, he typed his reply.

**LoonyWolf1003:  
** _Sure._

And hit the video call button.

 

Sirius smiled when the melody of an incoming call started, and he quickly pulled the strip that covered his camera away and hit the reply button.

A grainy picture came into view, and he looked into the same face he had seen on the photographs, the young man with a mop of brown hair, sitting before the backdrop of Sirius’ kitchen.

“Hi!” Sirius said, his smile widening.

Remus returned the smile he saw appearing in the chat window automatically.

Sirius looked almost like in the picture with Lily, the black hair a little longer and ruffled from sleep, but the eyes were awake and friendly, a six o’clock shadow contouring his jaw.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Better,” Sirius hummed contentedly, now able to sink back against the pillows again with his mug of coffee cradled against his chest. “So, Remus…” he said and studied the face looking at him again. It felt a bit unreal to see him now. “Nice to talk to you.”

Remus couldn’t help it, he kept smiling as he nodded.

“Yes, a bit of a change,” he laughed and clung to his own cup of tea. “I see you’re feeling quite comfortable, hm?”

“Oh, yes, I do like your bed,” Sirius grinned and took a brief look around the room. He was really getting used to this, and he didn’t even miss his own that much. “Everything here’s so cosy.”

Remus chuckled. “Yeah, that’s what James says all the time, that it’s all tiny and cosy,” he shrugged and glanced down to his mug, his finger wiping on an invisible spot on its rim. “It just kind of happened.”

“Kind of happened, huh?” Sirius drew up one eyebrow, but didn’t ask any further. “It’s all so very English. But in a nice way. Even though the bathtub could be bigger, I barely fit in there,” he grinned.

“Very English?” Remus laughed and shook his head. “Never heard that before. Yeah, the bathtub,” he paused to take a sip of tea. “It’s been in there since before I can think. It was my parents’ before.” And for a moment, he wondered why he was even telling Sirius that.

And… that probably meant his parents were already dead. Sirius felt a twinge of sympathy but wisely shut himself up from asking about that too. Instead he took a long sip of his coffee and sank down a bit more in the pillows. “I think it’s funny, my house and yours are so different, but I really like them both.”

Remus couldn’t agree more, because even though he had feared in the beginning that he might get lost within the mansion, he felt really comfortable by now. Though he wasn’t sure if he would want to live in such a big house forever… at least not all alone.

“I know, I was thinking the same. You got really lucky with yours. A nice way to fulfill your dream.”

“Thanks,” Sirius smiled, a feeling of warmth settling in his stomach. It was true, he had worked long and hard and persistently for this, and he was damn proud of it. And yes, sometimes he just wanted to rub it into his mother’s face. “It was a lucky catch, really, I wouldn’t have been able to afford it if Lily didn’t have a contact to the ones who sold it and… yeah. Here I am.”

“Oh, so she helped you find it?”

Sirius nodded and smirked a little. “Seeing as she half lives there too, it’s only fair.”

“Oh yes, I noticed,” Remus grinned widely. Lily had come by often since he’d arrived, actually, now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember a day she hadn’t been around.

“Makes me wonder why she doesn’t have her own key.”

“Because,” Sirius laughed pointedly, balancing the cup on his stomach, “she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Right,” Remus laughed and thought for a moment. Actually, he had given James a key ages ago, but he always forgot it at home or just never had it with him when he went out drinking. But it had been a ‘just in case’ sort of thing.

“Well, not only girlfriends can have keys, but I guess I see your point.”

“That’s true,” Sirius admitted, considering for a moment. Maybe it’d actually be a good idea to give Lily a key now that June couldn't make a scene about it anymore, if there was ever anything up. “But if I give one to her, she’s bound to drop in on me in the most inconvenient moments, I just _know_ it,” he grinned wryly then, despite his ponderings.

Remus quirked up an eyebrow.

“Most inconvenient moments, huh?” he asked, and for a moment his thoughts wandered, over to that bed he had been sleeping in… and caught himself again. God, what was he thinking?

“Exactly… Are you okay?” Sirius asked, half amused, half puzzled, because there suddenly was a somewhat spooked expression on Remus’ face.

“Sure!” Remus replied quickly. _God, what was that?_ “I just imagine that to be… somewhere between completely amusing and absolutely horrifying!”

“It always depends who it happens with of course, which of the two is bigger,” Sirius grinned and finally put his empty cup back on the nightstand. He slipped the laptop down onto the sheets, turned onto his side and propped his head up with one hand.

“You think it would change your or her reaction?”

“Nah, I meant it depends on who walks in, you know? With Lily… more amusement.”

“Ah,” Remus nodded in understanding and shifted a bit on his kitchen chair. “Wait, I’ll just…” he picked up the laptop and walked over to the living room to drop down on the couch. “That’s better. So, don’t tell me she has walked in on you doing whatever before and that’s how you can tell?”

Because really, Remus could totally see that happening.

Sirius could feel himself grin, and he rolled his eyes, letting his head fall to the side. “Exactly that. Years ago though, I’ve gotten more careful over time.”

“Oh God!” Remus laughed and threw his head back. “Do I want to know what happened?”

Sirius felt himself smile at Remus’ amusement. Lily had been right, he was kind of cute, big eyes and ruffled hair and some kind of… innocence in his face. “Do you want to? I don’t know, you’re the one who’s gonna have to tell me that.”

Remus looked at Sirius for a moment and chewed on his lower lip. He was curious, he had to admit that. Fighting with himself for a moment, he finally gave in.  
“Alright, come on, shoot.”

“It’s actually not _that_ much of a story,” Sirius admitted, but a reminiscent grin appeared on his features. “It was at a party, we’d retreated to one of the rooms and she’d been looking for me. After her first shriek she laughed, and we almost had trouble chasing her out again.”

Remus sat here with his eyebrows drawn up. He could imagine that Sirius must have been someone for whom it must have been easy at those parties, but the idea of Lily bursting in and being unwilling to leave caused his lips to twitch into a grin.

“Wow, was she so interested in what was going on?” he chuckled, feeling even a bit sorry for Sirius.

“A bit maybe,” Sirius grinned, but then added with a laugh, “Mostly she was taking the piss, I’d do the same if I ever walked in on her. I’m not _trying_ to,” he quickly said, “but, you know, in case I would.”

“I bet she did,” Remus grinned and fell back onto the sofa, resting one arm behind his neck and the laptop on his chest, “I just hope it wasn’t too embarrassing, in hindsight.”

“Nah, I suppose we’re too close for that,” Sirius mused. “As in… she’s like the little sister that always teases you but who you love to bits.”

“Yeah,” Remus nodded with a knowing smile, “yeah, I guess I know _that_ particular feeling.”

Sirius just grinned in return, all too easily able to imagine what he meant with James. They had met up again twice after that first morning, and Sirius thought he had rarely ever met anyone who he got along with so fast so well.

“Alright, Remus, time for your daily report! What d’you do today?”

“Uuuh, today…” Remus tried to recall what he had done today. “I think Lily took me into the Hollywood Hills today? No, wait. That was yesterday…”

Sirius couldn’t help laughing. “Days blurring together already?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you know, Lily is dragging me everywhere and I get to see so much. It can be a little overwhelming.”

Remus smiled apologetically at Sirius, and it was a _beautiful_ smile, Sirius had no qualms about admitting. “That’s good though. You get everything you can out of this, alright?”

“Sure, I won’t let any opportunity pass,” Remus promised, more to himself than to Sirius actually. So far his holiday had been far from boring, but most of all, it had distracted him from what had been going on over the past couple of days, and that was what mattered most.

“Good,” Sirius smiled at the man on his screen right before his attention was drawn away by a soft, questioning sound, and when he looked over he saw Pads, head lying on the edge of the bed, just looking at him.

Sirius half sighed, half laughed. “Here, look at this,” he said and turned the laptop so that the camera would catch sight of the dog.

Remus laughed as he spotted Padfoot, the dog seemingly confused to see and hear his owner, but being unable to smell him.

“Hey Padfoot, what are you doing, hm? Trying to sneak into bed?”

Sirius laughed, propping his head up on his fist right next to the laptop screen to look at him too. “Poor guy, I think he’s confused.”

“I think he is quite often, he just doesn’t show it,” Remus grinned and looked between Sirius and Padfoot.

“You know, you two kind of look alike,” he suddenly grinned widely.

“What!” Sirius exclaimed, making Pads jump a little. “I do not look like a dog!”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, I meant,” Remus laughed and needed a moment to catch his breath as he was looking at both Sirius and Padfoot who looked utterly confused. “I meant the black hair and eyes… though your expression is priceless, too.”

Sirius huffed, but he couldn’t help laughing right after. He turned the laptop back around so that Pads was out of sight. “The ideas you’re getting…”

“I couldn’t help it!” Remus tried to defend himself, and Sirius snickered.

"Of course not… Well then, I suppose I'll have to see to Pads here," he added, ruffling the dog's head affectionately.

"What, only now that I said you look like him?" Remus tried to look at least somehow indignant.

"No," Sirius smiled pointedly, "because he came looking at me like he's hungry and wants to be let outside. It's your dog, shouldn't you know that?"

“As long as he doesn’t try to eat _you_ ,” Remus said, and then hastily added, “Besides, I couldn’t see him right now, you turned the laptop away.”

“He did earlier, that’s why I turned it so you could see him in the first place!” Sirius laughed and finally sat up in bed, tilting the laptop so he could still see Remus. “And he could never eat me. Alright, I don’t know yet if I’ll be here when you wake up, but I’ll see you same time tomorrow?”

“Don’t stress yourself,” Remus said with a smile. “I hope you have a great day, I think I’ll just go to bed.”

“Nah. Nothing here is stress,” Sirius smiled back and gave the other a soft wink. “Sleep well then, see you tomorrow.”

“I will,” Remus replied. “Talk to you tomorrow!”

 

***

 

It was five in the afternoon, and dusk was settling over the landscape. Almost all of the snow had melted away, but there were new snow falls forecasted for tomorrow, which was quite fine with Sirius. He really really wanted a White Christmas.

He had parked the tiny car only a few paces down the street, just a little proud of himself at his increasing comfort about driving the English way, and was now strolling through the small green wooden gate leading to James’ home, a sixpack in one hand, the other storing the keys away.

It had really been a coincidence that he had found out just about half an hour ago that there’d be a Broncos match on TV in a few minutes, and he had immediately left for his new friend’s home in gleeful anticipation. The lights were on, so James was definitely at home, and Sirius rang the bell without hesitation for his surprise visit.

It took some time before Sirius heard someone coming to the door. It opened, and James peeked through the small gap, visibly surprised to see Sirius.

“Oh, hi Sirius,” he said and waved in a short greeting. “What are you doing here?”

“There’s rugby on TV,” Sirius grinned back, briefly lifting the sixpack. “Wanna watch?”

“Uh…” James shot a quick glance inside and ruffled his hair. “I’m not sure…”

Sirius already wanted to ask why, but then there was a thumping noise coming from inside. He already drew up his eyebrows, but before he could say anything, a second face appeared in the gap of the door - next to James’ thigh, and Sirius blinked and looked down.

A small boy, looking too similar to not be related to James, stared up at Sirius, green eyes hidden behind round glasses and the hair as black and untidy as James’.

Sirius had already seen the boy before, on the pictures in Remus’ house, and as he wouldn’t guess the boy to be older than maybe three, those must have been recent ones.

Half hidden behind James’ leg, the boy blinked curiously, and something in Sirius’ mind finally clicked together.

“ _Oh_ ,” was all he could say for a moment, looking at the boy, and then back up at James. “You’re…”

“Yeah,” James simply said and opened the door completely, gesturing to let Sirius in.

“Harry, this is Sirius,” he said to the boy, then his attention went back to Sirius. “Sirius, this is my son Harry.”

For a moment Sirius was honestly dumbstruck. From the previous times he and James had met, he’d never have guessed this, and yet now he thought he should have _known_. Remus didn’t have any siblings, and whose kid should it have been on the photo with him, especially with _that hair_?

But he caught himself again barely a moment later, and a wide smile appeared on his face as he knelt down on one knee to be on level with the boy. “Hey, Harry. I’m sorry, did I interrupt you and your dad?”

The boy nodded, a slightly grim expression on his face, but he muttered a “‘ello Sirus,” even though it took an encouraging nudge from James.

The man huffed and shook his head.

“No, don’t worry, you didn’t interrupt anything. Please, just come in.”

“Only if it’s really not inconvenient. I’m sorry I’m just dropping by like this, I just didn’t think…” Sirius trailed off, slightly hesitatingly following the invitation and stepping inside.

“That there would be someone else, I know.” James smiled wryly. “It’s fine, really. Living room’s over there,” he pointed down the hallway. “Do you want anything?”

“No, umm, I’m good… I’ll just give this to you, huh?” he half-smiled and held the sixpack out to James while he toed off his shoes, very aware of the fact that a three year old boy with amazing eyes was watching his every move.

“Thanks,” James took the bottles and his mouth widened into a grin. “Even cold, that’s great. I’ll put the rest of these in the fridge, you can already take a seat. Just not the one left on the couch. That’s Harry’s,” he added, his expression somewhere between amused and pained.

“Aye, sir,” Sirius grinned back before turning back to the boy. “Want to show me your place on the couch, Harry?”

Harry kept eyeing him suspiciously, as if he was expecting Sirius to do something funny.

With a stern expression he nodded eventually and ran towards the living room on short but determined legs.

With the briefest of glances back at James, Sirius followed into a not too big but comfortably furnished living room. It was a bit more modern than Remus’, a larger TV, a stereo system, but there was a fireplace that was decorated and a Christmas tree glowing warmly in one corner, and here you couldn’t miss anymore that this was home to a child, toys littering the floor, a fluffy beige teddy bear residing on the left corner of the couch. It made Sirius smile as he watched how Harry climbed up next to it before looking at him again.

“So, is it alright if I sit down here?” he asked, waiting for Harry’s approval before taking the armchair next to where the boy was sitting.

Harry had grabbed the teddy bear and held him tight to his chest. He was still watching Sirius, his head tilted slightly to one side.

“‘s okay,” he said, but clutched his teddy closer. “Who are you?”

“I’m a friend of your dad’s,” Sirius explained, unable not to smile at the boy. He’d never had so much to do with children, not in his circles of friends back home, but he could plainly see James in him, and it was amazing to watch.

He wondered where his mother was.

“And of… Remus. D’you call him Uncle Remus?” he wanted to know, smile turning into a grin.

The boy’s face lit up at the name and he gave an enthusiastic nod.

“Yes, Uncle Remus!” he repeated, but then his eyes narrowed. “‘ve never seen you here or with Daddy or with Uncle Remus.”

“I know…” Damn, that kid was adorable. “It’s a complicated story?” Sirius tried, scratching the back of his head. “We’re not friends for very long yet, you see?”

“Not?” Harry asked. “But Daddy’s nice and Uncle Remus’ nice.”

“Of course they are! That’s why we’re friends now. But we’ve only just met a few days ago, because I usually live in America. Do you know where that is?”

“Far away,” was Harry’s instant answer and immediately asked further. “Why’re you ‘ere?”

Sirius couldn’t help it, the smile on his face widened. _Bright kid you have there, James._ “I’m on holiday, for Christmas and New Year’s. I wanted to be in the snow this year, because at home where I live, it’s warm for Christmas.”

“There’s no snow?” Harry’s face looked absolutely shocked, unable to believe that there were places on Earth that didn’t have snow for Christmas.

Sirius shook his head, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch. “Mhm, no snow. That’s why I’m here, because there has to be snow for Christmas, right?”

“Has to be,” the boy agreed, the grim expression replaced completely by curiosity and joy. “‘ere’s always snow. And Daddy takes me outside, and we drive with the sledge. And som’times Uncle Remus makes snowmen with me and angels!”

He could just see that, and he had to laugh. “I bet they do. I’m afraid Uncle Remus won’t be here for Christmas, because he’s off on a holiday too, but if you want to, I’d make snowmen with you?”

Harry’s eyes went wide and his head shot around to the doorway, where James was standing and watching the two of them.

“Uncle Remus…?” Harry asked in a whiny voice.

Damn. Wrong thing to say. Sirius grimaced slightly and looked over at James as well, hoping he’d do dad stuff and explain that one to Harry.

“Aaaah…!” James crossed the distance with two long strides and was instantly with them to pick up Harry.

“He’ll be back very soon, he’s just not here for Christmas dinner, okay?”

‘Sorry,’ Sirius mouthed at James, smiling a little awkwardly. Yeah, he didn’t have any experience with kids, no denying that.

James shrugged, showing Sirius that it was okay, and held Harry in his arms, the little boy seemingly undecided if he wanted to start crying or not.

“I’d still make snow angels with you?” Sirius offered tentatively, feeling the need to do _something_ to make this better for the boy.

“Where’s Uncle Remus?” Harry mewled and turned just enough to be still cuddled against James, but was able to look at Sirius.

Sirius checked back with James with a brief glance, and then tried explaining carefully. “Remus is in America, at my home. Him and me, we… we exchanged our homes for two weeks. He lives in my house, I live in his, you see?”

Harry blinked.

“You live in Uncle’s gingerbed house?”

James only groaned helplessly.

Sirius blinked.

“Gingerwhat?”

“Gingerbed!” Harry said seriously.

“He means gingerbread,” James whispered to Sirius and rolled his eyes. “Ever since we once made a gingerbread house for him, he thinks Remus’ house is one.”

“I thought that was what he meant, but…” Sirius slowly shook his head, a wide grin spreading on his face. “That’s adorable. Harry, I can totally see why you call it gingerbread house.” He snickered quietly, thinking about the small, cozy cottage. “Awesome…”

“Yes, he lives in Uncle Remus’ house until Uncle Remus returns," James explained to Harry and the small boy listened carefully.

Then, he turned his head back around and piercing green eyes met Sirius’.

“D’you stay with Uncle Remus? When he’s back?”

“Umm… no, I have to go back to my own house then,” Sirius admitted, and it was the first time while he was here that he actually thought about his return.

It wasn’t really a thought he liked.

“It’s like I’m looking after his house while he's gone, and he looks after mine, you know?”

Harry didn’t reply. He only held Sirius' gaze and wrapped his arms tighter around James’ neck, resting his head on his father’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” James said into the sudden silence. “You wanted to watch the game, I think?”

“Oh.” Admittedly, Sirius had completely forgotten about that during the last few minutes. His gaze flickered from James to Harry and back again, and he felt just a little uncomfortable. “No, that’s alright. I mean, we could do something else too? Or… I could also leave you alone again, since I just dropped in on you like this…”

“No, no, it’s alright, I was going to watch it anyway, it’s just,” James nodded his head towards Harry. “Normally people don’t drop by here ‘cause they don’t want a child around.”

“What?” Sirius asked, looking incredulously at James. Hell, he wasn’t exactly a child person either, but Harry was _adorable_. “Why not? I mean…” Baffled he shrugged.

“Because children mean looking after,” James explained and sat Harry back down to the ground, where he ran back to climb onto his place on the couch. “He’s with his grandparents on most weekends or they’re coming over, so that I can go out from time to time. Having a drink.”

Sirius nodded quietly. So that must have been exactly what had happened when they had met, that Harry had been with his grandparents and James out. Again he wondered what had happened to his mother, but he really wasn’t going to ask.

“Not easy I suppose,” he mused, looking over at Harry again, then trying to give them both a slightly wry smile. “I don’t mind, really. Not at all.”

“Great,” James smiled, and Sirius imagined that it was a happier one than before. James turned back to where he had placed two bottles of the beer that Sirius had brought as he had rushed over to soothe Harry.

“Here, one’s fine for me,” he handed Sirius one of the bottles and slumped down next to Harry on the couch. “Do you wanna watch some sports, Harry?”

James wrapped an arm around his son and pulled him a little closer, actually quite like Harry was hugging his toy. But the boy snuggled closer and nodded, what was enough indication for James to turn on the TV.

It was a very new situation for Sirius since none of his friends at home his age had kids yet. He realised that he had to take a bit more care what he said, cut out the curses while watching the match, and the way he once or twice barely succeeded earned him amused grins from James.

Harry became considerably more lively as the evening wore on, and by halftime he had already shed all reservations. They had a simple dinner together, talking and laughing while the match went on in the background.

When it was finished, Harry insisted on showing Sirius his 'castle', and even though James said he really didn't have to, Sirius agreed immediately.

Harry's castle turned out to be a tent right in the middle of his room, of soft, dark blue fabric, and Harry immediately darted inside.

"Come, Sirus!"

"Harry, I don't think…"

"James, shut up, this is brilliant!" Sirius grinned widely, went to his knees and peeked into the tent.

He could hear the man groan lowly, but he followed Sirius into Harry’s little ‘castle’, stuffed with blankets and pillows and everything that was warm and soft and cosy.

Harry lay on his back and was waiting for Sirius and James to join him, looking satisfied, and Sirius crawled to his right side a bit slower, lying down on his back.

There were yellow paper stars attached to the roof, and Sirius felt himself smile.

"I like your castle, Harry. Wish I had one like that too when I was small."

Harry beamed at him, and if his grin spread any wider, Sirius feared it would split the boy’s head.

“Hear, Daddy?” he cheered and clapped his hands.

“Yeah Monkey, I heard that,” James half sighed, half grinned from Harry’s other side, and Sirius stretched contently on the cushions.

“What’s that about, Harry, doesn’t your dad like coming into the castle?”

“Dad comes often!” Harry grinned.

“Does he,” Sirius said and grinned over at James.

James groaned and buried his face in his hands.

“Trust a child to ruin your reputation,” he muttered beneath his fingers, and Sirius only snickered.

“As if you had one to begin with. You showed up on my doorstep drunk as a skunk.”

“What is still another thing than being someone who crawls into a self-made tent-castle with his son every evening until he has fallen asleep.”

“Aawww that’s so adorable,” Sirius grinned widely before looking over at Harry. “I have an idea. How about we go brush your teeth and get you into pyjamas, and then Daddy James reads us a story, huh?”

“Yeees!” Harry cheered loudly and almost knocked his glasses off his nose as he threw his arms up in glee, and James and Sirius simultaneously had to duck away.

“Brilliant. Come on, let’s go!” Sirius grinned and went to crawl back out of the tent, Harry hot on his heels, a pillow thrown by James bouncing off his head.

Sirius laughed, and Harry did too, and even James grinned helplessly.


	6. Chapter 6

The first week had passed so quickly, Remus nearly didn’t realise that it was the day before Christmas already. He had been too busy with Lily and discovering every part of L.A. (and there was still so much more to see) to actually notice how time flew by, skyping every evening with Sirius and reporting everything he had done, that it had become sort of a ritual of its own. One, he had to admit, which he liked very much.

And so he was about to turn on his laptop, at the same time as every evening, to log into Skype as usual, when his mobile rang.

He wondered briefly who would call him now, a frown cutting deep lines into his forehead as he creased his eyebrows, but without checking the number on the display, he picked it up by habit.

“Hello?”

"Remus," a voice answered him, smooth and familiar. "How are you?"

Remus froze instantly and it felt like someone had just emptied a bucket full of ice cold water over his head. On the other end of the line was the one person he had least expected to call, the one man he had managed not to think about in almost a week.

“Gerard,” Remus replied politely, and he couldn’t help the small smile forming on his lips and the tiny spark of hope blooming inside him.

“It's good to hear you,” Gerard said, and Remus could hear that he was smiling. “I was surprised you were gone, not like you at all.”

“Yeah,” Remus walked around the kitchen as he spoke, as always when he felt a little nervous. “I needed a holiday.”

But most of all, he needed to know why Gerard was calling him.

“A holiday? Have you left the country?”

Remus paused. Well, of course, now that he thought about it, Gerard couldn’t know that Remus was off to America, he had only told James after all. And James and Gerard… they weren’t really on speaking terms when it came to James, not that Gerard had ever much cared about meeting Remus’ best friend.

He cleared his throat and brought his thoughts back to focus on the current call.

“Mhm, I’m currently in Los Angeles,” Remus answered eventually, and he could hear astonishment in Gerard's voice as he answered.

"Los Angeles? Tell me about that."

“I’ve switched houses,” Remus explained shortly, his fingers running along the kitchen counter and nipping on the edge. “I’m staying here at someone’s house while he’s at mine over the holidays. I told you about this exchange thing once.”

“Indeed,” Gerard said, and Remus thought there was a slightly odd tone among the amusement in his voice. “Good thing I didn’t have time to come visit you then after all, would have been an unpleasant surprise.”

Remus felt his eyebrows quirking up and his heart missing a beat at those words.

“You wanted to come over?”

“I did,” Gerard confirmed without hesitation.

Another missing beat.

“Why?”

“Because I miss you of course.” Another entirely matter of fact answer, and as if Gerard didn’t really think it was anything extraordinary, he went on. “Listen, there’s also a new manuscript I have, and it desperately needs some Remus. Do you think you’ll maybe have a bit of time to have a look at it?”

“Sure, why not,” Remus said before he actually realised what he had agreed to. But if Gerard wanted his opinion on one of his manuscripts, then of course, Remus was willing to help.

“Great,” Gerard smiled at the other end of the line. “I’ll send it via express. Give me the address?”

“Sure,” Remus searched the piece of paper on which he had scribbled Sirius’ address to pass it on to Gerard. “So, how was the past week?”

Remus tried to keep talking and tried not to smile constantly, while he thought repeatedly that Gerard had called him _because he missed him_ … So much that he almost missed what his reply even was.

“Oh, busy, I’m sure you can imagine.”

Gerard talked a bit about what was going on at the editorial office, about work, about the Christmas spirit back home in England, eventually pausing as he finished.

“So I suppose I won’t see you for Christmas then. I hope it’s at least decent over there.”

Remus closed his eyes to suppress a sigh. Gerard had never asked him to see him over Christmas before, why did he have to start _now_?

“No, you won’t. But it’s very nice here, though not quite as Christmassy as England, of course. And I will be back for New Year’s Eve.”

“That’s good to know,” Gerard smiled, and Remus could hear rustling on the other end of the line. “Alright, I have to go. I’ll send you the manuscript right away. Bye!”

“Alright…” Remus said and before he could mutter a goodbye and maybe wish a Merry Christmas, the only thing he could still hear was the constant tooting of the line.

With a sigh he put his phone down and ruffled his hair. What had he agreed to? He had taken this holiday to stop thinking about Gerard, to not be right there as soon as he called.

 _That went well, didn’t it?_ Remus asked himself with a sigh.

Now his holiday would consist of reading through a manuscript that surely was brilliant, as that was what Gerard was without any doubt, but not how he wanted to spend the days.

But what if Gerard hadn’t just called for the manuscript? Yes, he always had a high opinion on Remus’ remarks to his writing, though there was very little to correct, more to extend the personal note. But what if Gerard did in fact miss him? He hadn’t said a word about his fiancée, not that he had ever spoken of her while talking to Remus except for that she was in fact not around at the moment, but now Remus almost regretted that he hadn’t asked.

Was he naive enough to believe that maybe his absence had made Gerard aware of certain things? Did he _dare_ to hope?

Remus was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even noticed that he was already almost an hour late for his call with Sirius.

 

***

 

It was different this morning. Not because of him, because the first thing Sirius had done upon waking up had been starting his laptop, just like every morning. What was different was that Remus hadn’t been there.

Sirius had frowned and waited for a while, but when he hadn’t shown up yet around fifteen minutes later, he’d gotten bored with just lying around in bed.

So he had gotten up, had padded downstairs, started a fire both in kitchen and living room, brewed coffee, put the laptop on the kitchen table and fed Pads.

It was almost an hour after he had woken up, and Sirius was still sitting at the kitchen table with his breakfast, that the little sign next to Remus’ name switched to green, and Sirius clicked the call button right away.

Remus accepted the call only a second later and his face appeared on Sirius’ screen.

“Hey,” he smiled, and Sirius returned it instantly.

“Hey. Thought you might not come anymore.”

“Sorry, I was busy,” Remus looked apologetically at Sirius. “But I wouldn’t miss our chat.”

And that made something warm settle in Sirius’ stomach, even while he grinned. “You shouldn’t! So,” he immediately went on, picking at the last bit of his toast, “you could’ve told me James is a dad.”

“Oh, I didn’t? Sorry, I really thought I did,” Remus said quickly and Sirius had to breathe out a laugh.

“And neither did he. So when I showed up at his place yesterday, unannounced, I was in for a surprise.”

“Oh,” Remus repeated, but now a smile spread on his face. “So you’ve met Harry?”

“Yeah, I’ve met Harry,” Sirius answered, hiding his smile behind his coffee mug. “Kid’s adorable.”

“Yeah, he’s a little sunshine,” Remus grinned. “Couldn’t wish for any better kid for James, to be honest. Though, trust me, he can be challenging at times.”

“Oh, I bet.” It was probably that, however, what made Sirius actually like the little boy. He had similar levels of energy as Sirius did, and it was _fun_ to be around him. “And now I’m on ‘Replace Uncle Remus’ duty, had to promise to make snow angels with him.”

“Oh no, please tell me he didn’t drag you into this?” Remus chuckled. “We did that when the first snow fell and promised him to do it again.” He ran a hand through his hair and his face fell a little. “I just didn’t manage to keep that promise until now.”

“That’s alright, he has me now, right?” Sirius smiled back at Remus half teasing, half gentle.

“Was he very mad?” Remus asked ruefully, and Sirius shook his head.

“Nah, don’t worry. I think he misses you though,” he said and pushed his empty mug away, done with breakfast.

“Aww, I miss him, too,” Remus said softly, and Sirius gave a small smile in return. For a moment he hesitated, but then asked anyway, more serious now. “So, how about his mum?”

Remus’ expression turned a lot sadder.

“She died,” he explained in a low voice, “soon after Harry’s birth. I’m not sure he even remembers her.”

Sirius nodded quietly, having already thought something like this. It probably was worse for James than for Harry if the boy really had been that young, and he felt a whole lot of sympathy for his new friend.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he finally said with a soft sigh, but added with the smallest of smiles, “At least they have you, right?”

Remus huffed, though it sounded somewhat amused. He leaned on his elbows in front of the laptop and was absently picking on some strands of his hair, messing it up even more than it had been before.

“I’m hardly a substitute for a mother, you know?”

“Sure, nothing is,” Sirius shrugged, but caught himself thinking that Remus looked adorable with what he was doing. He briefly brushed his thumb over his lips to hide the hint of a smile. “That’s gonna be interesting, with the kid growing up with a huge overweight of masculine influence.”

This time Remus laughed, loud and wholeheartedly.

“Yeah, James sure is a poster boy of a testosterone driven male from time to time. Some female in Harry’s life would be better, or that poor boy’s ruined forever.”

“But I bet you’ll be able to have a lot of _fun_ with him,” Sirius grinned back widely.

“And you think you couldn’t otherwise?”

“That depends on the female influence, doesn’t it.”

“I don’t know,” Remus shrugged and nibbled on his lower lip, actually biting around a grin that spread there. “After all, James turned out the way he is and he had both his parents being all caring about him.”

“Alright, don’t know his parents,” Sirius admitted and leaned back in his chair with a grin, stretching comfortably. “So, now you know about my day. How was yours?”

“Uhm,” Remus started and crossed his arms on the table top, tilting his head as he was thinking about what he had done that day.

“It was nice, actually, every day here is, I could really get used to that. Though I might’ve gotten a bit of a sunburn…” He looked down to his pale wrists which were exposed by the rolled up sleeves of his shirt. “And then I got a call and that’s why I was a bit late, which I’m still sorry for,” Remus spoke quickly as if he didn’t really feel like talking about that part and just wanted to get it over with.

“Hey, that’s totally fine, not like I have any appointments to get to,” Sirius reassured him, flicking his hair back from his face as he looked over to where Pads was lying lazily in the living room. “Even though I’m really the more important call here,” he added with a grin.

Remus paused for a moment and stared at the screen. Then, slowly, very slowly, a smile spread over his face.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s true.”

 

***

 

Since Harry had been intent on having his promise kept, and James had been intent on not leaving Sirius alone for Christmas, he found himself once more in the company of the two Potters on Christmas Day. They were all wrapped up in coats and scarves and gloves, Harry’s limbs still so short that they almost vanished in his snow suit and made him look like a colourful ball running around against the backdrop of white landscape, Padfood happily running along with them. It had snowed again as predicted, and Harry and Sirius got their White Christmas, whiter than white actually. Coming up to town from the cottage had been a real challenge with all the snow.

After those very first reservations, Harry seemed to have already accepted Sirius completely, and, if he was entirely honest, it had warmed his heart how happy the boy had been when he had showed up for the promised snow angels. They’d had to make some right outside the house in the front yard even before really starting on their walk, and Harry had laughed as the fresh snow had stuck to Sirius’ black hair.

They had brought along the small wooden sleigh for Harry to ride on if he wanted to, but right now the boy was too excited, dashing ahead with Pads on the path past trees and fields, running left and right and back to them and forth again while James and Sirius followed behind him in a much more leisured and straightforward manner.

“Thanks for joining us,” James said as they watched Harry run ahead again, chasing the black dog whose tail was wagging furiously. “You know you didn’t have to.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sirius huffed out a laugh. “Thank _you_ for letting me be there for Christmas. No idea what else I’d have done today.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you come here to get some peace and quiet in the first place?”

“I came here to get a holiday. I’m not exactly one for peace and quiet, you know?” He shot James a half-grin. “To be honest, without you two I’d probably already have gotten bored and started doing stupid things. So I prefer making snow men with Harry any day.”

“Stupid things, huh?” James quirked up an eyebrow and grinned. “Like what?”

“Get drunk in some pub maybe,” he shot back with an equal grin. “I’m unpredictable at some point of drunkenness.”

James snickered. “Yeah, I know that feeling. I tend to show up unannounced at people’s doors, maybe you’ve heard?”

“See, those levels of drunkenness. You tend to do stupid things. Good thing I was there to take care of you,” he nodded and gave James a clap on the back.

“Mhm, you make a good knight in shining armor, mate,” James grinned. “Couldn’t have come home or my mother would’ve ripped my head off for being irresponsible and drunk and everything around the boy. And sure, wouldn’t want that.”

“Nah. But you need some time off too,” Sirius replied more sobered up now, his gaze following Harry who was throwing snow into the air further up ahead. “Being a single dad must be quite a bit of work.”

“It is, sometimes.” James didn’t look away from his son. “Especially in the beginning when he was younger. My wife died when he was sixth months old, she got ill and…” he just shrugged without finishing the sentence. But he didn’t have to. “But seeing him grow up, that’s worth the trouble.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius offered, more quiet now, and very heartfelt. A familiar, faint ache was settling in his chest like an old memory. “No one should lose people this close before their time, it’s… not fair.”

“No it wasn’t.” James kicked some snow off his shoe. “But maybe it’s a good thing that Harry doesn’t remember her. Sure, it’s sad that he’ll never know his mum, but at least he didn’t have to suffer through the loss.”

Sirius only nodded quietly. “And you can always tell him about her when he starts asking.”

“I will,” James nodded. “I have many stories and pictures that I can show him. But sometimes I still think that won’t be enough.”

“It’ll have to be,” Sirius could only shrug, giving his friend a sympathetic glance. “At least he still has you, that’s worth a whole lot.”

James looked at him for a long moment before he eventually replied. “You sound as if you know what you’re talking about.”

Sirius looked away, ahead again, watching Harry for a few more moments. “My younger brother,” he eventually said, knowing there wasn’t any more explanation needed.

“Oh,” James only said. “I’m sorry.”

They were quiet for a while after that, and if James was anything like him (and in the past few days Sirius had thought that he was a _lot_ like him), they were both sparing a quiet thought for the loved ones they had lost, to illness and accident, and it was one of those moments that had become sparse but still happened. When the memory would sting and Sirius would miss Regulus as fiercely as it had been right at the start.

But thankfully they weren’t alone, and it was that colourful ball of energy bouncing back to them that broke the silence that had fallen.

“Sirus, ‘nother one!”

Harry tried to grab his hand, making Sirius smile, and as he looked over at his friend, he could see that the moment was broken and they were alright.

“Alright, peanut. Let’s go.”

 

***

 

On Boxing Day, Remus was curled up on Sirius’ couch and waited to get picked up by Lily who had promised to take him on a trip. Early that morning the postman had rung and handed him a thick package from England and Remus didn’t even need to check the sender to know who it was from.

And once he had removed the brown paper in which the manuscript had been wrapped, that was actually all he'd found. The stack of pages, heavy and tightly bound, was all Gerard had sent, not even a little note or a thank you.

Somehow the whole thing left a kind of bitter taste behind in his mouth, but nevertheless he sat there, a pen between his teeth, and read through the first draft of Gerard’s book.

But no matter how much he tried to concentrate on the lines he was reading, his thoughts kept wandering off. He wondered how things were at home, if Sirius had burned down his house yet, possibly with the help of James, or if he had kept his promise to make snow angels with Harry. And every time his eyes brushed over the description of the dark haired protagonist of the story he was trying to read, undoubtedly modeled after Gerard himself - he knew the man’s ego well enough - he wasn’t imagining him, but Sirius.

Remus groaned and closed the manuscript to bury his face in his hands.

No, he was not starting to fall for Sirius Black, he scolded himself. He was not falling for some straight guy that he barely knew and that normally lived in Los bloody Angeles!

_God, Remus Lupin, and there you thought you couldn’t get any more pathetic._

Luckily enough the doorbell rang just then to rip him right out of his thoughts and pushed them to the back of his mind. For now.

He opened the gate instinctively, and then the door, Lily's flaming hair as always the first thing he saw when she came up, smiling when she saw him. "Morning, Remus," she said and, as always, kissed his cheek. "All ready?"

“All ready,” he smiled and pulled away from her hug. “What’s in store for today?”

The grin on Lily's face widened, an almost mischievous twinkle in her eyes, and she held up the large basket she was carrying. "A little trip, beach and picnic and stuff... and something else. Come on," she said, grabbed a bunch of keys from the sideboard and exited the house again.

“Something else…?” Remus asked carefully, but followed her, closing the door behind him. During the past couple of days he had learned that Lily was one for spontaneous and sometimes maybe a little crazy ideas, but he knew that he could trust her with most of them.

She hummed in agreement, but instead of walking back to the main gate, she opened the garage door. Inside there was Sirius' car, the one Remus had only seen once on his first tour through the house, sporty and sleek and vibrant red.

He looked in confusion from the car over to Lily, wondering what she was up to, while she was smiling knowingly. “We’re going on a little tour,” she winked and threw the keys in a nice arch over to him. “Wanna drive?”

Remus caught the keys and blinked, a little perplexed.

“What, you mean with Sirius’ car?”

“Exactly that,” Lily smiled at his expression.

“But…”

“How’s there a but?”

“I can’t just drive Sirius’ car!” Remus protested, and though he didn’t know much about cars, he knew that this was a very expensive one. And he had heard from the conversations with Sirius that he _loved_ his car, so who was Remus to dare touch it?

“You’re not _just_ driving Sirius’ car, dear,” the redheaded woman laughed, and it sounded gently amused. “It’s not like you’re stealing it. Come on, don’t tell me you never wanted to.”

“Of course I’m not stealing it,” Remus said quickly, but still stared at the car. “Are you sure we can do that?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Lily smiled. “You’re a very responsible person, you’ll take very good care of his baby, so let’s go.”

Remus groaned. The way Lily called the car ‘his baby’ was surely exactly how Sirius thought of his car. And Remus didn’t even want to think about what the other man would do to him if he caused even one scratch on the perfectly clean polish, living on the other end of the world or not.

So with a bit of a wary feeling he slipped into the driver’s seat, a strong smell of leather welcoming him, and started the engine.  
“Alright. Where are we going?”

Lily slid in beside him, a satisfied uptilt to her lips. “I’ll tell you as we go along.”

"Oh dear…" Remus muttered and slowly drove out of the garage.

She led him out of the residential complex, out of Brentwood and past Santa Monica. It took all the twelve minutes until they reached the coast until Remus could relax somewhat, pushing his fear of doing anything to Sirius’ car here on the wrong side of the road further to the back of his mind. But then they were on the ocean road, sunlight glittering on the vast blue on their left, wind in their hair, and he could smile. And Lily’s green eyes as she looked at him said gently, ‘See, not that difficult.’

He only dared to look at her from the corner of his eye, but after a while, he felt relaxed enough to talk.

“So, I ask again, where are we going?”

“Just around,” she admitted, hair whipping around her. “The day’s so nice, I thought I’d show you a bit of the mountains up there. And the ocean road of course.”

It was obvious which ones Lily was talking about. As they drove further away from the city, the ocean was still lying serenely on the left, and on their right hills rose up - not quite mountains, Remus thought, but they were high enough seeing as they were sitting right on the coast.

Every once in a while, when the street allowed him to relax and not clench his hands around the steering wheel, Remus glanced at the scenery and was amazed by what he saw.

The coast seemed to be a mixture of pastels, all shining bright in the warm sunlight, so different to England, where everything was often a little grey, but more saturated, especially in autumn when everything was red and gold and brown, and in summer when the sun was shining on fields of green.

But here he had the blue sea stretching out on their side, green palm trees and white sand lining azure, and on the other, dusty green as the mountains started to rise a little higher.

They drove for a while without saying anything, both content to be lost in thought and the view of the coast until Lily broke the quiet to ask Remus to turn right at the next possible road junction. He did so, and steered the car onto a street that let away from the ocean and up into the hills, where less and less cars passed them and the sun shone onto the back of their necks.

“Do you intend to stop somewhere or do we just keep driving?” Remus asked after a while. He enjoyed the view, but he was still wondering if that was all that Lily had had in mind for that day.

“Just about five minutes more,” she smiled at him, “then we stop and have our picnic. Sounds good?”

“Sounds wonderful,” Remus smiled and turned around the next corner, enjoying the breeze in his hair.

They stopped by a wider spot next to the narrow road where they could stop the car without any trouble. Lily took the basket and led him away, over a dusty path winding between bushes, sparse grass, a few trees and rock, towards a rushing sound that got louder with every step.

Then they turned the corner of a rock wall and water cascaded down to their right in a slim, small waterfall, tiny drops dancing in the air and breaking the sunlight into faint colours while towards their left a grassy area overlooked the ocean down in the distance.

“My God, this is beautiful,” Remus looked around and gaped at the landscape in awe. “I didn’t even know there were places like this up here.”

"So it was already worth the trip," she grinned in satisfaction and turned around her own axis once to look around. "I love this place, we sometimes come up here to relax, get away from everything, you know?"

“Oh yes, I can clearly see why,” Remus smiled, still admiring the view. “And how often is that?”

"That really depends on how busy we are." Lily spread a red and white checkered blanket on the grass and knelt down, starting to unpack her basket.

“So not as often as you'd like to?” Remus asked and helped her with unpacking.

"There are rarely things you get to do as often as you'd like, right?" Lily smiled wryly and settled down. "So. Did you get that script?"

Right. The script. Remus hadn’t thought about it while they had been driving, and now that he remembered, he thought those minutes had been the better ones.

“Yeah, got it. Read it, before you came, actually.”

"All of it? Was it that good?" Her slender eyebrows arched up.

“No, actually…” Remus considered for a moment. “It wasn’t bad. But I’ve only read a couple of pages so far.”

Lily hummed in understanding, a bite of cheesecake just having vanished between her lips. Once she swallowed, she asked casually, "There's a story behind that, hm?"

“What do you mean?”

"More than you already told me. Which is next to nothing I might add, but all the more reason to think that there _is_ a story," Lily concluded and looked at him while licking the tip of her finger.

He indeed hadn’t told Lily that the colleague he had gotten the script from also happened to be his ex-lover. She had wondered why on earth he was willing to look through it during his holiday, but had dropped the subject again.

Until now, and like a couple of times before, he felt like Lily already knew more than she was willing to admit and only just asked to confirm her own line of thoughts.

Remus sighed and stabbed his own piece of cake with his fork.

“Maybe there is,” he admitted eventually.

Lily didn’t say anything immediately. He heard the sound of a water bottle being opened, a cup being filled, but when he hadn’t been forthcoming with more by the time she was done, and hadn’t looked at her either, she spoke up again.

“You’re sleeping with him.”

“How in the world did you guess that?”

And this time he could hear the smile in her words, even though his gaze was still lowered.

“Sixth sense. Works flawlessly, every time.”

Finally he did look up, one eyebrow raised as he met her gaze.

“Every time, hm?”

Her smile was gentler than it could have been.

“Every time I know of.”

“Huh.” Remus blinked, but then nodded and confirmed what she had said.

“I used to sleep with him.”

There was a pause.

“Oh my god, is he that bad breakup you came here for? And you still read his scripts?!”

Remus cringed a little. Right, he had forgotten he had told Lily about that... “Basically.”

“And, what, you went through a bad breakup just recently but are still, what? _Friends_?”

Remus paused. There wasn’t really a term that would define what he and Gerard were now, really.

Maybe friends came closest though.

“Yeah.”

When he looked at Lily, she only raised her eyebrows at him.

“What?” he asked, and she sighed.

“Lovers to bad breakup to friends? Just like that? _Really_?”

Again his gaze dropped.

“Maybe not quite like that.”

Another pause, and then she sighed.

“You know I’m curious, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Remus shrugged and finally dropped his fork, leaving his poor stabbed cheesecake battered on the plate.

“What do you want to know?”

He could see her looking from him to his plate and back.

“So all this means that he’s already in that ‘friends’ stage, and maybe for him it wasn’t all that bad of a breakup, but you’re not, and for you it was?”

“Sort of, yeah.” Now that he thought about it, maybe _that_ was indeed how one could describe it.

“He’s getting married,” he added finally, watching Lily’s reaction.

There was a mix of sympathy and indignation on her features, and even though her voice was soft, she didn’t hesitate with her answer even for a second. “Forget him, Remus. I know you’ve probably heard that before, maybe even from yourself. But it’s the only thing for you to do, the only way you’re not going to be miserable every time you see him. And I know you’re too nice for your own good, but… don’t read his scripts. Or answer his messages. Especially not while you’re here, on holiday.”

“I know,” Remus said hastily, because yes, he did. It wasn’t like this wasn’t what he kept telling himself almost every day. “But it’s easier said than done, isn’t it? And he keeps calling. He always did, every time I tried to get some distance.”  
He knew how pathetic he must be sounding. Like in some bad movie, really.

“Always raises my hopes again.”

“Remus, he _made_ his decision.” Lily had put everything else down, her attention solely focussed on her friend. “He’s getting married, what more do you need? And it’s a shitty thing for him to do if he doesn’t leave you alone, that’s just selfish. I know that after a breakup you need time, and maybe that’s all fine and easy for him, but if you ask me that doesn’t show a lot of tact on his part.”

“I know,” Remus repeated and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

Eyes still closed, an ironic grin formed on his lips.

“He’s a brilliant man, really. Clever and great with words. With people though, not so much.”

Lily huffed quietly and took up a bunch of grapes. “Sounds like it. You know, I’d say you should go and get yourself a one night stand while you’re here if I thought you’re the type for it.”

“Yeah, but that’s not really my sort of thing,” Remus gave her a small smile, almost thankful, as he was for her attempts.

She gave him a half smile back and then offered handful of grapes to him. “But still, you should really, really forget him. You’re going to be happier for it, believe me. I’m going to take a wild guess here, but during the last few weeks, how often did he make you happy, and how often did he make you feel miserable?”

“You can’t really count that,” Remus tried to defend himself as he plucked a couple of grapes out of Lily’s hand. “He just told me that he’s going to marry that woman and… you can’t really count that.”

“Then just tell me when the last time was that he really, truly made you happy,” she prompted, unmoved.

Remus popped a grape into his mouth and chewed slowly, deliberately so.

He tried to think of a moment, any moment, within the last year even, that Gerard had made him smile and had kept him in a somewhat happy state for longer than just a bare minute.

“When… when we’re talking on the phone. Sometimes for hours,” he attempted to answer Lily’s question, but it only took one look at her to see that she thought that was a pretty weak one.

"Look… you already know that you should stop. That you don't deserve to be treated like this. So do it. Stop."

“Right,” he muttered. But again, it was an easy thing to say. How was he supposed to stop thinking about Gerard, especially when he kept calling or writing?  
And after all, they had had their moments of fun and laughter, together and also when they had been on the phone. It hadn’t always been all that bad, after all Gerard did show that he admired Remus and liked him. He had just never been ready to announce that in public and was now getting married to a woman.

And despite that, Gerard had kept calling him and had spoken to him for hours, as long as she wasn’t home.

He bit his lip at the memory, when suddenly another image flashed in his mind.

His nightly chats and calls with Sirius. How a total stranger had so far managed to make him laugh even more over the past couple of days than Gerard had managed during the last year.

How much he actually enjoyed those Skype sessions with Sirius and that he had felt a lot happier during those hours than anytime else.

Remus’ shoulders slumped down.

He was completely screwed.

Lily's hand appeared in his field of vision, a chocolate cookie in it, and when he looked up at her, he found a gentle smile.

"You'll be fine. You'll find someone else who deserves you, and you'll be _fine_."

“I know,” he smiled thankfully, even though he didn’t quite believe his own words. He took the cookie from her hand, but didn’t eat it yet. “One day, my Mr. Right will come along,” he muttered, then nodded at Lily. “What about you?”

She shrugged easily. “I've been out of a relationship for a bit over a year. Hasn't hurt me though, and hey, we're still young.”

Remus looked at Lily with a mildly surprised expression. She was such a pretty, no, _beautiful_ woman and such a great character.

“I can hardly believe that you’ve been single for that long. Are men too intimidated to talk to you or was that simply your own decision?”

“A mix of both, maybe,” she smiled and stretched her long legs. “But thanks for the compliment. So there are only Misters and no Misses Right for you, huh?”

Remus took a bite from the cookie and contemplated her question.

“I guess there are only Mister Rights for me, yeah. Haven’t met any woman so far that caught my attention that way. Though of course, never say never.”

Lily nodded. “I agree with your approach to life. Whatever happens, just go with it.”

Remus shrugged his shoulders and then started grinning.

“I guess my first real approach to that was this trip here. Sirius came at just the right time.”

“Yes… he has the tendency to do that,” Lily answered, affection in her voice. “Let’s have a toast to that. Whatever happens, right?”

“He does, hm?” Remus smirked, but reached for his cup. “To whatever happens.”

Lily winked at him and they drank to that, with water and juice, but Remus thought that didn’t really matter. Because right then, he was willing to give this a try.


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius was still yawning when he started up Skype, rubbing a hand over his face and brushing his sleep-tousled hair back. Pads was still dozing, so that meant he might have a bit of time with Remus before he’d have to leave the bed, and so he cuddled back into his pillow, pulled the blanket over his shoulder, and waited for the program to load.

The small sign next to Remus’ screen name was already green and it didn’t take long after Sirius hit the call-button that Remus’ face appeared on his screen, hair tousled as usual and the skin of his cheeks flushed from what Sirius knew could only be the Californian Sun.

It made a smile spread instantly on his face. “Looking good there,” he said, voice still rough with sleep.

“Look who’s talking,” Remus grinned. “Did you just wake up?”

“‘bout a minute ago,” Sirius admitted with a sleepy grin, looking at Remus out of one eye with half of his face hidden in the pillow. “And you’re a flatterer. No one _really_ looks good just having woken up. That’s a movie myth.”

Remus laughed and shook his head.

“Maybe, but some people still look better than others.”

Sirius hummed quietly for a moment, smile still in place on his face. He lazily adjusted the blanket around him again before answering. “That bit of colour on your cheeks really suits you. Been outside again?”

“What?” Remus returned with visible confusion and Sirius could see that his eyes flickered down to the corner of the screen to check his own appearance in the chat window, a hand coming up to touch his cheek. “Yeah, Lily took me out into the hills for a picnic.”

“What!” Sirius tried to put on a fake tone of indignation, but the corners of his lips were twitching. “Our secret spot where we spend romantic hours!”

Remus pulled up his eyebrows, visibly unimpressed. “Romantic hours? I think she told me something different.”

It made Sirius huff in amusement. “She’s telling you too much it seems.”

“Are you getting jealous?” Remus smirked, and the sight only made Sirius’ grin widen.

“Do I have reason to be?”

“I don’t know,” Remus shrugged with a grin and reached around the laptop to take a glass of wine he had stored there and take a sip. “Maybe? If she already shows me your secret places?”

He looked so relaxed right then, so happy, and it felt just good to see Remus like this. He deserved it, Sirius thought quietly.

“Not so secret, I suppose,” he admitted with a smile. “I hope you liked it?”

Remus put the glass away and leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. “Yes, actually, I loved it. The place was amazing and so beautiful! I can see why you go there as often as possible.”

“Finally, a guy who appreciates it!” Sirius huffed out a laugh and propped his head up on his hand. “Thank you, I do like you even a little more now.”

“What, because I like your hiding place?” Remus looked at him in surprise.

“Yeah,” Sirius shrugged, hiding another yawn behind his hand. “Brought a boyfriend there a few years ago, he looked so bloody bored the whole time.”

Now Remus’ eyebrows almost vanished in his hairline as he blinked at Sirius. “A boyfriend?”

“Mhmm. So, you get a big sympathy bonus for that,” he grinned and gave Remus a lazy thumbs up. “Were you at the beach too?”

It took a moment for Remus to reply in which he seemed to be a bit puzzled, but then he nodded eventually. “Yeah… yes, we went to the beach, walked a bit through the water, all of that.”

“Mmh, nice. No wonder you have that tan on your nose,” he smiled at Remus again, gaze briefly resting on the back of said nose.

“Uhm, yeah…” Remus laughed, and his eyes avoided the screen for a moment. “I didn’t expect the sun to be this intense as… well, you’ve noticed our winter weather.”

“And you’ve never been to sunny California, I remember,” Sirius laughed quietly. “Should have warned you, I suppose… Do you miss the snow angels?”

“I miss making them with Harry, yes.” Remus smiled. “Are you a good substitute for me?”

“I try to be. I think I’m doing good, Harry likes me. But he asked about you again just yesterday. When you’ll be home again.”

“Oh really?” Remus’ smile was a bit pained. “I hope you told him that I’ll be back soon?”

“Of course,” Sirius reassured him, his voice soft with sympathy at the honest regret of staying away from the young boy for so long. “Just a few more days, right? Can’t believe I’ve been here so long already.”

“Yeah,” Remus nodded and his smile turned a bit happier again, almost cheeky. “And you’re not yet bored of good ol’ England?”

“Nah,” he smiled, surprising himself a little at the truth of his words. “Not yet. I suppose I needed that holiday more than I thought… and having found friends helps too, I have to admit.”

“Yeah, James helps to keep away the boredom, that’s true. Quite funny though, don’t you think?”

“What? James?”

“Uhm, I mean that you get along so well with James as I do with Lily. That isn’t a given, after all, but I think they help us to enjoy our holidays, don’t you think?”

“Maybe it just shows that we have taste.”

Remus laughed. “I’m not sure if I would say that being friends with James Potter always speaks of good taste,” he shook his head and took another sip of red wine.

Sirius grinned back at him and finally sat up, leaning against the headboard and pulling the laptop onto his lap. “So. Tell me about your plans for the last few days.”

“Uhm, I think so far, there’s not much else planned, actually. But I’m sure Lily will come up with a couple of things as she already promised me that she’d be around again tomorrow.”

“Don’t even have to entertain yourself. Now that’s luxury, huh?” The grin on Sirius’ face widened.

“Think I’ve done something right for once,” Remus laughed. His eyes travelled to the side, fixing on something and for a moment, the smile on his lips dimmed. “Well, in case she doesn’t want to entertain me anymore, I’d still have something to read, so… I’m able to entertain myself.”

“Sounds like that will do for the last few days.” Sirius’ gaze flickered over to Pads who was starting to move, yawning and getting to his feet to pad down the stairs.

“I guess so,” Remus replied and put his chin up on his folded hands as he looked back into the camera. “And your plans?”

“We’re going to London tomorrow.” Sirius slid further down against the headboard. The thought still filled him with a mix of anticipation and tension, as he hadn’t been there since that day he had left his parents’ house. “And then I actually think I have to start packing already…”

“Right,” Remus nodded. “Are you looking forward to coming back home?”

He was. Of course he was. He was looking forward to seeing Lily again, Peter and Marls and the twins. And he started to miss his trailers too. And the sun and his pool… but…

Sirius shrugged. “Sure I am.”

A slight frown appeared on Remus’ face and Sirius briefly wondered if he hadn’t sounded as convincing as he thought he had. But it vanished just as quickly, to be replaced by another one of those grins that made Remus look like he had barely reached his 20s.

“Well, only a couple more nights and you’ll be right back in your superhero mansion.”

“Hey, I like your cottage.” He stuck his tongue out at Remus - maybe his youthful grin was contagious. “And Pads. And James and Harry…” He trailed off and sighed. “I’m gonna miss this, you know?”

“Yes, I know,” Remus said, his expression as sympathetic as his voice. “But…” he scratched his teeth over his lower lip for a second, “but you know, we’re not out of the world and we could still skype, for example when James and Harry are over?”

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but decided differently and instead stayed silent.

Sirius caught himself thinking that he really wanted to know what it was.

“Yeah… I’d love that,” he smiled instead of asking. “I bet Harry will be taller each time. And I can get Lily to be there so you can talk to her too.”

“That would be great,” Remus nodded. “I think I’ll really miss her, too…”

Again he opened his mouth only to take a breath, but eventually he shrugged.

“And you know, in case the two of you ever need a holiday again, you are very welcome to fly over. I’d just need to make some space, but maybe… you could stay at James’ place for example, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

The smile on his face widened slowly, and Sirius felt like his heart beat a little lighter. “Thanks… really, Remus, thank you. I’d love to come here again, I’d really miss this place. The same goes for you, of course! And James, and Harry. If you’d ever want to come.”

“Well, I’m not sure about how much Harry would love flying, but sure. If we find dates we could agree on…” Remus sounded almost relieved in a way, as he smiled into the camera, the colour on his cheeks just getting a bit darker. Probably from the wine.

He looked gorgeous.

“Alright. Then we have a deal,” Sirius smiled. He had known that leaving England the second time would be much harder than the first. But now also that their deal would already make it much, much easier.

 

***

 

It had been a more relaxed day this time, Remus thought after he waved Lily goodbye and sat down at the kitchen table to turn on his laptop. They had been grocery shopping and cooked dinner, several courses included, which had taken them most of the afternoon and evening.

But now that Remus sat in front of his screen and waited for Sirius to come online, he nibbled on the nail of his thumb.

He was still thinking about that one little detail that Sirius had revealed about him yesterday: that at some point in his life, he had had a boyfriend.

Remus had meant to ask Lily about that, but he hadn’t known how to suddenly ask her without sounding like too much of a weirdo. And what difference did it make? After all, even though by now Remus knew that he had quite a lot of interest in Sirius (who could blame him? The guy was dead sexy and nice and funny on top of that! What more to wish for?), it still didn’t change the fact that Sirius was normally located in Los Angeles, far away from the cosy little place that Remus called home. Not that he had really any hopes to begin with.

With a sigh, he ruffled his hair and tried to soothe the redness on his thumb where his teeth had scratched over his skin with his tongue and stared at the screen.

It was a little earlier than anticipated that the blob next to Sirius’ name turned green, and already the program started ringing, wanting him to connect the lines.

Remus quickly answered the call and smiled at his screen.

“Hey,” he was greeted, this time not by a sleep-hazed Sirius, but one who sat downstairs in the kitchen, breakfast spread in front of him.

“Hey,” Remus smiled. “You’re up early?”

"London today," Sirius reminded him with a half-smile. "And I still need to go outside with Pads before we leave, exhaust him a bit so he won't be bored later. How're you?"

“Oh right,” Remus grinned, “I forgot, sorry.” He shook his head. Of course Sirius had told him and of course they would need to leave early for that. “Don’t worry, Pads can take care of himself. Unfortunately I’m not home as much as I would like to be either, under normal circumstances. But I really hope you’ll enjoy today. Any specific plans where to go?”

Sirius huffed and gave him a playfully reprimanding stare. "Pads needs entertainment too! He's a lot like me, I think, and we need a bit of fun once in a while."

“Did you just compare yourself to my dog?” Remus grinned widely and couldn’t help adding in a mocking tone, “I remember someone was pretty indignant as I mentioned something similar a while ago.”

"That's because then you said I _look_ like him!" Sirius laughed, and just then, Remus' phone began to ring. He frowned and looked puzzled over to where it was lying.

“Give me a moment, yes?”

Remus wasn’t expecting any calls except for his daily video chat with Sirius, so who the hell was calling him?  
He grabbed the phone and pushed the green button, realising once again too late that he hadn’t checked the number on the display.

“Yes?”

“I hope I haven’t woken you,” a familiar voice answered him at the other end of the line, of course without introduction - not that it was needed.

“Gerard,” Remus said, his throat suddenly tight and dry. “No, don’t worry, I was still awake.”

“Good to hear,” the other man smiled, audible even over the line. “I just wanted to see if you haven’t forgotten me.”

Oh, how Remus wished he had. Honestly, he almost had.  
But of course, Gerard wouldn’t let that happen.

“No, I didn’t.” Remus replied patiently and motioned to Sirius on the monitor that he would try to hurry with this phone call. “I’ve just been enjoying my holiday and took some trips through Hollywood.”

Sirius just nodded and quietly diverted his attention to his breakfast.

“That’s good to hear,” Gerard said meanwhile. “You know, I’ve been thinking that I shouldn’t have sent you that script, not when you’re on holiday.”

Remus nibbled on his lower lip and nodded, absently walking up and down as he was used to while talking on the phone.

“That’s fine, I’ve only read a couple of pages so far anyway, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Gerard waved the words away. “I have a surprise for you instead.”

“A surprise?” Remus frowned and glanced over to the laptop where he could still see Sirius munching on a slice of toast.

“A surprise. It should have arrived by now. Did you check the mail?”

“Uhm,” Remus rubbed his forehead and tried to remember if he had checked this morning. But what in the world could it be that Gerard had sent him?

“I think I didn’t. What is it?”

“You’ll just have to go and see, right?” Gerard just smiled.

“Right.” One last look towards the monitor. “I’m on my way.”

The question was already on the tip of his tongue when Gerard had sent whatever it was that he had sent when he opened the door, and it died on his tongue. Because he was there, right in front of him, curly hair and piercing blue eyes, smiling and ending the call, wordlessly sliding the mobile into his back pocket. Gaze all the while on Remus.

Remus’ jaw dropped, just as he almost did with the phone in his hand.

“Gerard,” he said again, this time with a lot more surprise than he had done earlier on the phone.

Because out of all things, he hadn’t expected Gerard to show up here in L.A.

It took Remus quite a couple of seconds before he was able to say more.

“What are you doing here?”

“Found your present,” was his answer as Gerard held up a slim, stylishly wrapped package, the look in his eyes in that moment almost boyish.

“You… you did?” Remus was still blinking, still trying to figure out how - and why - Gerard was standing right in front of him and not back home in England with…

He couldn’t help the bit of hope blooming in his chest.

“Do you want to come in?” he asked hastily, as soon as he had found his voice and manners again.

Gerard nodded and followed him in, giving the entrance hall a curious glance.

“Come in,” Remus repeated, even while he was closing the door behind Gerard. “What are you doing here?”

Gerard turned back to him, a smile on his face, holding up the package again. “Don’t you want to take that first?”

“Sure,” Remus said hastily, shoved his phone into his pocket and carefully took the package out of Gerard’s hands.

Then he remembered something.

“Oh wait, I just have to… one moment,” he mumbled and hurried off to the kitchen, leaving Gerard to calmly look around.

Sirius had finished breakfast and was now just sipping on the rest of his coffee.

“Uhm,” Remus bit his lip as he hurried towards the laptop and bent down to look at Sirius. He felt a mixture of giddy happiness - that Gerard was here surely had to mean something, right? - but also a bit uncomfortable. He didn’t want to cut Sirius off like that.

“Listen, I’m sorry, but… something came up, can we… I’ll call you back, alright?”

Sirius looked a bit surprised, even a bit disappointed, but shrugged and smiled. “Sure. I’ll just be in London later, so maybe when you wake up? Might be there then.”

“Yeah, that…” Remus hesitated for a moment and his eyes flickered down to where his fingers were curled around Gerard’s package. Would he be able to call Sirius back in the morning? Part of him hoped so. “That sounds good,” he finally closed casually, and Sirius smiled.

“Great. Well then… have a nice evening,” he said, and then his gaze flickered up over Remus’ shoulder.

“Thanks, you too,” Remus smiled and then turned to see what Sirius had spotted.

Gerard was leaning in the doorway, watching him with a wordless smile, his hands slipped into the pockets of his trousers.

Remus gave him a quick and nervous smile, but then turned back to Sirius.

“Enjoy London, greet James, yes? Talk to you.”

"Bye," Sirius simply said, briefer than usual, and it was Remus who had to disconnect the call.

He stared for a moment at the screen, the word ‘disconnected’ seeming to weigh so much more than usual. But it was the sound of Gerard behind him who cleared his throat that made Remus turn around.

“Do you want a glass of wine?” he asked quickly, not meeting the other man’s eyes.

"Gladly. This place suits you," Gerard said as he slowly came closer, more casual than purposeful.

“Yes, right,” Remus huffed while he snatched a bottle of white wine from the fridge and uncorked it.

"I'm serious," Gerard insisted, laughing quietly.

“Yes, sure you are.” Remus filled two glasses with wine and handed one to Gerard, still wondering what he was doing here.

Taking a deep breath, he voiced his question.

“Why are you here, Gerard?”

The other man had taken the wine but didn't drink from it, only looked at Remus. "I came because I _needed_ to see you. I don't think I've ever checked my mails as often as last week, it was driving me _crazy_ not to hear from you."

“I think I don’t understand,” Remus shook his head and his gaze fell back onto the still unopened present on the kitchen counter. “I was right there in front of you for three years and you said we weren’t right, but now you’re telling me that you needed to see me?”

"I've been going crazy without you," Gerard just said softly and gave a slow shrug.

“Suddenly?” Remus asked, somewhere between disbelieving and hopeful.

“I just hated that you were gone.” His voice and face were so sincere, and he took a step closer and put the glass of wine down on the counter again. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Lose me?” Remus repeated, completely stunned. “No, this is all too confusing…”

“Remus…” Gerard reached out and gently grasped Remus’ wrists. “Come here.”

Remus followed Gerard’s prodding and abandoned present and wine glasses in favour of the man he had been longing for for the past _three years_ of his life. And Gerard smiled and held his hands, and as he tilted his head down to kiss him, Remus felt something inside of him melt.

 

***

 

It was just like Sirius had thought: being back in London was strange, very strange. There were so many places he recognised, many places that still held that faint feeling of ‘home’, of having spent a lot of time there at least. There was apprehension too, because Sirius couldn’t help feeling like he would see his mother’s face in the crowd any moment.

He shook the thought off and directed his attention back to James and Harry, who was walking between them, holding both their hands. They were getting a few peculiar glances, and Sirius had to snicker to himself.

“How many of those people think we’re a couple, really?”

“Bet a lot of them,” James grimaced, but didn’t seem to be bothered. Instead, he started grinning widely. “Now imagine the glances we’re getting when walking down the street with a poof like Remus.”

Somehow those words didn’t quite sit well with Sirius, and he caught himself frowning. “It’s not like he’s one you just look at and know right away.”

“Nah, of course not. Even if, I don’t care. People can stare all they want, he’s still the best ‘Uncle’ for Harry I could wish for,” James glanced at him. “And now stop looking like that, I only insult the people I care about, okay?”

Sirius huffed out something between a laugh and something more indignant, but relented and shrugged a little. “Sorry mate,” he said and glanced down to Harry who was trying to jump while walking and push himself higher on their hands. “It’s this city, it’s making me a bit edgy. Or something. I don’t know.”

"That bad?" James asked, coming a bit closer to avoid a crowd of people that crossed their way. "Too many people or too many familiar ones?"

"Neither, I think… just memories," Sirius mused, tugging a little on the end of his own scarf. Harry was jumping again, and Sirius and James instinctively helped him along by lifting him up a little higher. "I don't even know if my parents still live here. Probably though."

“You really have no contact whatsoever with them, hm?”

Sirius shook his head, shoving his free hand into the pocket of his winter jacket. “I didn’t tell them where I went, I was never curious enough to find out anything about them.”

“Okay, maybe not my place to ask, maybe especially not _at_ this place, but what the…” James glanced down to Harry, “but what happened between you and your parents?” he corrected himself.

Sirius was quiet for a moment, pondering if he wanted to talk about that now. But on the other hand, why the hell not.

“A lot, I suppose,” he replied with a sigh. “They were old-fashioned, conservative as hell. That didn’t work well with me.” Sirius smirked wryly.

“Yeah, I can definitely see the old traditions shining through with you,” James rolled his eyes and laughed, lifting Harry up with Sirius’ help once again. “You must’ve been the poster boy of the family.”

“Their pride and joy,” he returned, huffing in dry amusement but sobered again quickly. “I saw no reason to stay. They were cold as parents, full of expectations but no love to give. My brother and I… back then, all we had was each other.”

“Yeah,” James dropped his gaze and looked at Harry for a few moments. “So since you ran away, there hasn’t been any contact whatsoever? For all you know, they could be dead already.”

“Maybe,” Sirius shrugged slowly, actually thinking about it. “I don’t even know how that works. I’m pretty sure I’m disinherited, but do they still look for official children to let them know in a case of death?”

“Huh, good question,” James shrugged. “I have no idea, to be honest? Never been in that situation. But if they had you removed from their will and maybe put in someone else, who knows?”

Sirius huffed in something like morbid amusement for a moment, trying to imagine who could be heir now to the old Black fortune. “Yeah… no idea. Maybe they wouldn’t contact me. I really don’t know.

“Now stop looking so grim,” James grimaced. “You’re almost scaring Harry. We won’t run into any of them, and I doubt they would recognise you, even if we did.”

“What? I’m not looking grim. Am I looking grim?” he added towards Harry and bent down to scoop him up and put him onto his hip as they continued walking. “Nah, I’m just being a bit sarcastic. You know what that is?” Sirius drew his eyes up at the small boy, who shook his head and looked over to James, then back at Sirius.  
“Sartic,” he repeated, or at least attempted to, making Sirius laugh.

"Sarcastic, peanut. I guess that's a thing for the boring grownups though."

“Grownups… eww,” Harry made a face and Sirius could hear James’ groan.  
“I’m teaching him the wrong things, obviously.”

“No, you’re teaching him all the right things,” Sirius laughed, reaching up to mess up Harry’s hair. “Being grown up isn’t as much fun as everyone makes it out to be.”

The boy laughed and wrinkled his nose, then reached out to drag his own hands through Sirius’ hair, maybe not as carefully as Sirius had done with him.

“I’m not even sure if people actually still pretend that it’s fun. I think they just say it’s something that has to happen,” James shrugged, watching them both with a grin.

“That’s a bit dark, don’t you think?” Sirius grimaced, his head tilted patiently towards Harry whose fingers had become tangled in his hair.

“I wouldn’t call it dark,” James shrugged. “More like things that happen that you have no influence over. But that doesn’t stop us from behaving like children every once in a while, right?” He grinned and nudged Harry’s cheek, then helped him to get his hands out of Sirius’ hair again. “Oh hell, come here you little devil,” he laughed and took the boy into his own arms.

“Thanks,” Sirius chuckled and reached up to sort his hair out with both hands. “But I suppose you’re right. Growing up, sad as it is, seems inevitable. As long as we still have people around us to pretend with as though it were different, right?”

“Basically,” James nodded and let Harry rest on his hip while he kept walking. “And Harry here helps a lot with keeping my inner child alive.”

“I’m not surprised,” Sirius smiled wryly and pushed his hands back into his pockets. “Though it seems you do lack a bit of female in your life if it’s only ever you, Harry and Remus.”

“Ah, maybe,” James shrugged, rocking Harry gently while he walked, the small boy chuckling in delight. “So far, it’s been okay. We’re doing good, and Remus can be a real mother hen, if he wants to be, cooking for Harry and everything, and I think I’m doing not so bad by now either.”

Sirius hummed thoughtfully, the turn their conversation had taken reminding him of something else.

"Hey, umm… I meant to ask you something."

“Sure, what is it?”

He paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to put it into words. “So, that guy Remus was dating… is he, like, tall and has brown curls?”

James frowned deeply and turned his head back towards Sirius.

“Yeah. Yeah, he is. How do you know?”

Sirius couldn’t help giving a low, soft sigh. “Then he’s there in my house with Remus right now.”

James stopped abruptly in his tracks, causing Harry to let out a surprised sound.  
“He’s _what_?” he asked, staring at Sirius, who just shrugged.

“We were skyping, as every day. It seems he just popped up, without announcement or anything.”

“You skype every day?” James asked, his eyebrows rising for a moment until he regained focus. “And what, he just walked in there, or what? How did he even know where Remus was?”

Sirius shrugged again. “Yeah. It just happened, I guess. And he just rang the bell, no idea how he got the address.”

“Holy f- … okay, did he say anything? Remus, I mean? About Gerard being there?”

A weak grin flickered over Sirius’ face at James’ attempt to conceal his swearing. But it vanished again quickly. “No, not really. I don’t think he meant for me to know, the guy just walked into the line of the camera when Remus asked for a rain check.”

“He asked for a rain check?” James looked more and more confused while Sirius talked and he had started to rock Harry on his hip again. “So what, you don’t like the idea of someone else in your house?”

Sirius drew up his eyebrows and looked over at the other man. “With the way you react to the news? Hardly.”

“Just thought Remus had finally learned his lesson and wouldn’t use that as some Christmas Holiday with Mr. In Denial,” James grunted and readjusted Harry’s coat that had loosened. “And you don’t like that he invited someone else in?”

Sirius just gave a non-committing sound as a reply, thinking about it himself. He hadn’t minded the thought of it before, or rather, he had just never thought about it. Remus hadn’t seemed like the guy to him who’d invite people into a house that wasn’t really his own, even though Sirius had never asked him not to. But now…

“I don’t know. But I don’t want the guy there if he’s going to hurt Remus.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” James replied darkly, but before he could continue, Harry squawked, “Hurting Uncle Remus?”

It made Sirius look at the boy and reach over to ruffle his hair. “You’re with me there, Harry, right? No one’s allowed to hurt Uncle Remus.”

The toddler shook his head, looking very determined about that.  
“No, no one!” he babbled, making James smile.

“Yeah, if it was that easy. That guy’s been doing that to him for ages now. Thought Remus would’ve realised by now how bad that bloke really is for him, but it seems like he just needs to walk through the door and smile at him, and Remus has forgotten everything else. Obviously.”

Maybe they shouldn’t have started talking about this. Because it somehow made Sirius want to get back home and call Remus, and just talk him out of this. Because James only reinforced that feeling he’d had all day already, that he didn’t like what he had caught on camera just for a moment.

He rubbed his forehead and sighed. “Ugh, this… I hate this guy, and I’ve never even seen him.”

“I haven’t seen him in three years and I hate this guy’s guts,” James growled and Harry looked from one to the other with large eyes and smeared glasses as if he wanted to know what was going on with his Uncle Remus. It made Sirius sigh and smile reassuringly at him, and he thought maybe they should change the topic.

“So, Harry, tell me your opinion on this: is it too cold in winter to eat ice cream?”

“Nooo!” the little one squeaked and James rolled his eyes, even though he was laughing.

“Great, and I’m trying to keep him healthy and then you’ve got to ruin it all, eh?”

“What are you talking about, ice cream is an important part of every young man’s growth, right Harry?” Sirius grinned widely.

“Yes, I want ice cream, daddy, I want ice cream!” Harry squirmed in James’ arms and clapped his hands, resulting in James rolling his eyes and agreeing with a groan.  
“Okay, okay. Bloody…”

Sirius simply laughed, quietly glad that he had found people like the two of them here to put his mind off others that troubled his thoughts.

Past and present.


	8. Chapter 8

Here they were, huddled together on the couch, their wine glasses half emptied on the small table in front of them and while Gerard was talking, Remus was leaning against him, listening to every word he was saying. The way Gerard was holding Remus’ hand with both of his, and how he was talking about making a little trip of their own once they were back in London made Remus’ heart flutter in his chest, hope blooming and growing with every soft tone that came from Gerard’s lips.

“Maybe Venice. You and me in Venice could be good,” he was smiling, his blue eyes fixed entirely on Remus’ face, just as they had been all the while since they had lain down on the couch together.

Venice… one of the places Remus had always wanted to go see, and of course he had told Gerard about that.

“Do you mean that?” he asked, still completely amazed about how things seemed to have changed. “I mean… are you free to do that?”

The smile on Gerard’s face widened a little, and he reached up to touch Remus’ cheek. “Darling… l've just traveled halfway across the world to see you, haven't l?”

Remus wanted to smile and just lean into the touch, but something in the back of his mind alarmed him, something… just didn’t feel right.

“Yeah, that… that doesn’t really answer my question,” he said, shifting so that he could look directly into Gerard’s eyes. “So you’re not with Emilia anymore? I mean…” Remus didn’t really want to believe it, for it already seemed too good to be true. “Is that what you’ve come here to tell me?”

After a moment Gerard lowered his hand again and sighed almost benevolently. “I wish you could just accept how confused I am about all this.”

Remus pulled even further away, almost sitting up straight on the couch.

“Okay, wait, let me… let me translate that,” he gestured, pinching the bridge of his nose. Of course this had been too good to be true. And Gerard claimed to be the one who was confused. He should be in Remus’ position. “You’re still engaged then? And you still want to get married?”

Gerard looked a bit puzzled, but still hadn’t moved from where he was lying on the couch. “Yes, but, I mean -”

“You mean what?” Remus stared at Gerard, realising that this was indeed what was going on.

“Oh, my God,” he whispered, shaking his head. How could he have been so blind? “Okay, this was a really close call. You know, l never thought l'd say this, literally never.” How could he have been this stupid as to actually believe that Gerard could have changed, after everything Remus had gone through over the past months, years even. “But l think you were absolutely right about us. About everything! We really don’t fit at all.”

For a moment, Gerard simply looked confused. Finally he at least pushed himself up onto his elbows. “You cannot mean that.”

Remus considered it for a moment. But no, his thoughts were finally clear.

“The great thing is… I actually do. Yeah, I do. And I should have told you that about three years ago already, but… well, I guess now is finally the time that I manage to say what I should have said years ago.” Remus took a deep breath, but no, something was not right, this wouldn’t have the same impact. He suddenly got up and pushed the light switch maybe a little too hard. “Lights, I need the lights on for this,” he muttered before turning around and looking at Gerard, a sudden determination rising inside him that had never been there before.

“Gerard, you have never treated me right. Ever.”

What he got was a half exasperated, half disbelieving sound, and something that could have been an eye roll. “Oh, babe…”

“Don’t babe me,” Remus breathed out. He had always hated when Gerard had called him that, and right now it just made him furious. But he was having a run here, and he wouldn’t let Gerard stop him now. “You broke my heart, and you acted like somehow it was my fault, _my_ misunderstanding. And l was too in love with you to ever be mad at you, so l just punished myself. For years! But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday and telling me that you don't want to lose me while you're about to get married…” Remus huffed again at the sheer audacity that Gerard seemed to possess. “Somehow this newly entitles me to say: it's over. This… this twisted, toxic thing between us, it is finally finished! l’m miraculously done being in love with you! l've got a life to start living. And you're not going to be in it.”

He breathed out. And for the first time in years, Remus felt actually free. It was such a good feeling that he didn’t even care that Gerard still didn’t quite look like he actually believed Remus was serious. Though at least he did deem it necessary to get to his feet now.

“Darling…”

“No, no,” Remus shook his head. “No more darlings, no more babes. It’s over, and you need to go now, Gerard.”

Remus had tried to steer the other man towards the front door, and it was probably testament to how baffled Gerard actually was when he let him. Even though he asked, “What exactly has gotten into you?”

“I don’t know!” Remus threw his arms into the air. “I think it’s something remotely resembling… gumption. But whatever it is, it was about damn time. Goodbye, Gerard!” And with that, he slammed the door shut, right into Gerard’s more than baffled face. And damn, did that feel good. Remus could only grin from ear to ear, and his first instinct was to grab his phone and dial Lily’s number. He needed someone to share the news with.

 

***

 

Sirius couldn’t quite believe it was his last day. He hated packing, always did, no matter if he went away from home, or to get back, it was always tedious, even when he was looking forward to leaving. Which wasn’t really the case.

Of course he missed home, and his friends, and his work, but this cottage here had found a place in his heart that would be hard to ignore. He put another sweater into his suitcase and eyed James who was playing with little Harry on the carpet.

Yeah, he’d miss them too. Little bastards. That really hadn’t been planned at all.

“We should make some early dinner before leaving. I know I’ll get hungry otherwise, and it’ll be late until you get back from the airport.”

“Sure thing,” James replied and lifted Harry up into the air, the small one squealing with happiness. “Any special wishes for your last meal?”

“Wow, that’s morbid,” Sirius returned dryly and chucked a pair of socks into the suitcase.

“Sorry. Would you prefer to call it the last supper?”

“Making it worse, not better.”

“You’re not going to get nailed to a cross though. You’re just going back home.”

“Well, you were the one who made it sound like it was something horrible, not me,” Sirius replied dryly, watching the two of them with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“And you are the one looking like you’re going to your own funeral, not me,” James shrugged as he grabbed his laughing son again to tickle him. “Am I right, Harry? Doesn’t Sirius look all grumpy?”

“I don’t look like I’m going to my own funeral!” he protested immediately, abandoning his suitcase for a moment to flop down next to James and Harry, and pat his lap. “Come on, Harry, let’s play horse and rider.”

The boy climbed onto his knee readily and tilted his head to the side to look at him. “Sirus, why are you grumpy?”

“I’m not! Do I look grumpy to you?” he raised his eyebrows at the boy and grinned warmly, because he couldn’t not when he was looking at Harry.

“A bit!” Harry said, but laughed as soon as Sirius started bouncing him on his knee.

“But seriously, you don’t look too happy about leaving?” James asked while he always kept one eye on Harry.

“I’m happy about going back home, that’s not it,” Sirius gave a brief shake of his head. “I’m just gonna miss you guys.”

“Awww,” James cooed, but then turned serious again. “Yeah, we’re gonna miss you, too.”

“Miss you!” Harry agreed and suddenly climbed up to wrap his arms around Sirius’ body, holding him tightly, and that was just ridiculous, because Sirius never had anything to do with kids before, not really, but the gesture alone made his heart hurt a bit. He wrapped his own arms around the small body and sighed.

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too, Harry.”

“You know,” James suddenly said, “you could stay until New Year’s, if you like?”

Well. It wasn’t that Sirius _hadn’t_ thought about that. But he really couldn’t just invite himself.

He glanced over at James as Harry adjusted his position on Sirius’ knee again.

“Really? But I’m sure Remus wants his own house back and everything.”

James just shrugged and shook his head.  
“He lets me crash on his couch on a regular basis, I doubt he’d mind. And don’t you guys skype all the time? I guess he wouldn’t say no if you asked him.”

“Well, yeah but… that’d still be like inviting myself in,” Sirius grimaced slightly. And who knew, from what he’d seen, he might want to bring the guy here that had shown up briefly in the background at their last Skype session.

It still kind of irked Sirius that it had happened at his house.

“I think he would maybe even appreciate the company at the moment,” James shrugged.

Sirius glanced over at him with his eyebrows crooked up questioningly. Harry on his knee was yawning, and Sirius thought absently that it might be nearing time for his midday nap.

“Or maybe he would even want to celebrate, I don’t know,” James shook his head. “Seems like the guy finally grew some -” James stopped himself as he looked down to Harry, and continued after clearing his throat. “Looks like he finally found his spine.”

The words made Sirius draw his eyebrows together, registering vaguely that his heart was doing a funny jump. “You mean, what, he ditched him?”

“Yep,” James nodded and a grin that almost looked proud appeared on his face. “Threw him out, quite vocally even, according to Remus. Which probably meant that he asked him to leave politely, but no matter what, that a…aah- … guy is gone.”

Sirius couldn’t - and didn’t want to - fight the grin that was spreading on his face, because of James’ barely averted curse, but also because of the news.

Of course he was glad that Remus had found the courage to do this, because after all those hours they had spent talking, they were… were they friends now? Either way though, he did want Remus to be happy. And from everything he had heard, that wasn’t going to happen with that guy.

“That’s awesome. Good for him,” he nodded, a deep sense of satisfaction in his chest.

“And about time, I tell you,” James rolled his eyes. “Just hope that this time it’s for good.”

Sirius did so too. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but wasn’t exactly ready to examine that yet either. So he just nodded.

“I guess I can ask him? If he wouldn’t mind having me around for New Year’s,” he smiled wryly.

“Ask him. But I bet he’ll agree. You guys seemed to get along quite well? I’d offer you a place on my couch, but I’m afraid you won’t get much sleep with Harry and all around.”

“As if I’d care about that,” Sirius huffed out a quiet, amused sound, looking down at Harry who had started to doze off between them. Definitely nap time.

He looked up at James with a grin on his face. “You really are that desperate for my company.”

James simply shrugged. “I take what I can get. Any grown up person is welcomed right now.”

Sirius snickered quietly and leaned his head back against the bed. His gaze strayed to the clock on the wall, and he gave a soft groan.

“I’m gonna have to call Remus, but it’s not even five there yet. When d’you reckon’s the earliest he might be awake?”

“I don’t know? Seven maybe? He gets up early most of the time, doesn’t need much sleep. He even gets cranky when he had too much of it, weird as he is.”

Weird alright. Sirius snickered in disbelieving amusement. “There’s such a thing as too much sleep?”

“Ask him and he will tell you that there is. Tired all weekend after he had a full night of sleep, but give him four to five hours and he’s awake all day,” James reassured and looked like it was the most unbelievable thing to him. “Speaking of sleep…” he got up from the ground and lifted Harry up as well, carrying on his arm. “Time for you to hit the hey, little one.”

Sirius got up after him, dragging a hand through his hair. “Okay… right. I’ll give you a call then, later, and let you know? If I still need that ride I mean.”

“Sure, either way, just let me know.” James carried little Harry over to the door, the boy already half asleep and thankfully not putting up much of a struggle that they had to leave already. “And decide what you wanna eat, yeah?”

“Will do.” He followed the two Potters that had become his friends during the time he had spent here back in England - and he really wouldn’t have thought something like that could really happen - down the stairs to let them out. For a moment he watched James walk towards his car through the snow until the air became too cold, and then shut the door. He had his last bit of packing to do, because until he could call Remus it was still a few hours, and who knew if he maybe had to leave that evening after all.

So Sirius went back inside and had to smile as Padfoot appeared to brush past his legs, looking at him with large eyes as if to ask for a good cuddle.

And who was he to deny him that.

 

***

 

When Remus woke the next morning, he couldn’t believe that the time he had spent in L.A. was already over. He stayed in bed longer than usually after waking and just stared at the perfectly white ceiling, the beams of sunlight that fell through the curtains after he had at least done as much as raising the shutters dancing in patterns over the paint.

He tried to remember everything that had happened over the past couple of days, but somehow his mind still seemed to need time to work through every small thing. It was just so much that Remus had trouble believing that it had only been such a short amount of time. And yet… yet it had certainly been the best decision of his life. Next to finally slamming the door in Gerard’s face, of course.

When he eventually stretched, a bittersweet feeling filling every inch of his body - happy about the time he had spent here, but sad that he had to leave today - his gaze fell upon the clock on the bedside table, showing 6:30.

No matter what amount of vacation he took, his inner clock was still ticking and waking him up way before time. But like this, he at least still had time to pack the last few things he needed to, having done most of his packing the previous night, have a good cup of tea and give the house a quick clean before he would need to call the cab to get him to the airport.

It was a routine he had gotten used to since arriving here, and even now, on his last day, as ridiculous as it seemed, he continued it: he got up, this time skipping making the bed since he would put on fresh sheets later, had a shower, brushed his teeth, got dressed, packed his last few belongings away into his suitcase and then fell into the kitchen chair with a hot and steaming mug of tea in his hands, his fingers curling around the cool ceramic and slowly feeling the heat of the liquid seeping through. Opening the laptop and pulling it closer on the kitchen table was just the last step of that routine, even though Remus didn’t quite know why he was still doing that.

He checked his mails as always, a couple of pages and blogs he liked to look at, and drank his tea for the next half hour. Before he was entirely done, however, the sound of the landline ringing let him look up in surprise.

Ever since he had arrived here, the only time that any other person had ever tried to reach Sirius via landline had been when Lily had shown up unexpectedly on his first day. Frowning and wondering who this might be, Remus got up from his seat and picked up the phone, hesitating for a moment before speaking.  
“Hello, this is Sirius Black’s phone, Remus Lupin speaking?”

“So formal so early in the morning,” an amused voice answered him that, without a face, he needed a second to know where to place.

Eventually though, a smile started to grow on his lips.

"Sirius!" Remus was a little surprised by the call, but he still took the time to reply to Sirius' comment. "And who knows who was going to call the famous Mr. Black, master of cinematic trailers, at this hour? Didn't want to scare away any potential clients."

“Oh, that’s cute, I should put that on my business card,” Sirius snickered. “Anyway… yeah, I’m kind of early, I hope you were up already, but I needed to catch you before I had to leave for my flight and all…”

Remus could feel his cheeks heating up a little at the compliment, if it even was one, but he quickly dismissed it again. He absentmindedly nibbled on his lips as he listened to Sirius, picking up his mug from the table to carry it over to the sink.  
“Yeah, don’t worry, I’ve been awake for a while, actually, I’m just getting ready myself.”

“Okay, that’s good. So. It’s James’ fault, actually, it was his idea, but I’m going to ask, and you’re completely free to say no of course. But I thought the idea wasn’t so bad, and I wanted to ask what you’d think if I cancelled my flight and, umm… stayed for New Year’s,” Sirius said, continuing before Remus really had the chance to say anything at all. “I just figured it’d be nice to actually meet, you know, after all the skyping? And it would be a bit of a pity to just kind of miss each other, you know? Uh. What do you think?”

When Remus finally got the chance to reply, he needed a moment to actually gather his words and process what Sirius had just said.  
“So you… you’re asking if you can stay at my place for the time? Is that it?” he asked carefully.

There was a pause, and then Sirius replied, sounding more questioning than stating, “Yes?”

Something inside Remus made a funny jump at the question, and before he could think about it any further, he had already replied.  
“Okay, cool!” he agreed and felt immediately like slapping himself. ‘Okay cool’? Seriously?

But it didn’t seem to matter because his reply was a sound that could have been a breath and a laugh equally.

“Right! Okay. Well I’ll just stay here then I guess? I could get some stuff for New Year’s, if you want.”

“Uh,” Remus considered for a brief moment, trying to remember if he still had anything stocked in his home, but then again, he had no idea what Sirius might have found and used in his absence. “What were you thinking about?”

Sirius made a small, contemplative noise. “No idea. What do you and James usually do? I’ll just, you know, go along for the ride.”

“We just, you know,” Remus pinned the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he started to pace through Sirius’ house, putting away the last items he had forgotten. “The last few years have been pretty quiet. We mostly just had a drink or two, not too many, with Harry and all, though he’s mostly asleep at the time, and that’s about it. You sure that it won’t be too boring for you?”

“Yeah, I’ll be just fine,” Sirius returned with a laugh. “Shake things up a bit. Either way, I do want to meet you, so…”

Remus' eyebrows shot up in surprise. Right, Sirius had said that this had been his reason for staying.

"You think you can shake things up in my tiny home?" he chuckled. "I’d like to see you try. Even a toddler hasn't managed that so far."

“Well, you clearly haven’t met me yet,” Sirius smirked back.

“No, indeed, I haven’t,” Remus answered and could feel a smile growing on his lips. “And you won’t mind staying at my place for a while longer? With yet someone else to occupy more space?”

“It’s your space though in the first place, right? I’m just going to go full guest on you, so you need to be the one who doesn’t mind.”

“Yeah, but seeing where you normally live, I’m not sure you know what you’re agreeing to here,” Remus laughed, throwing his toothbrush into his suitcase. He would really miss the place, but he was also longing to get back home.

“But I’ve also lived here for almost two weeks now so I kinda do know this place a little,” Sirius countered, grin audible.

“Right, but you’ve been alone so far,” Remus reminded him with a smile, then shook his head. “Alright, just wanted to make sure that you know what you’re in for. Don’t want you to regret anything.”

“Nah, I’m looking forward to this. I’ll leave you to your packing then. See you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Oh, I’m actually finished,” Remus looked around one last time, just to make sure that this was indeed true. “But yeah, am looking forward to this, too.”

It sounded like Sirius was smiling. “Alright. Have a good flight, get here safely. See you, Remus.”

“See you,” Remus smiled, before he could hear the connection being cut off. Letting out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, Remus put the phone away and caught a glimpse of the time. In less than half an hour Lily would come to pick him up and drive him to the airport. And while he still felt a bit of regret that he had to leave this beautiful place and wouldn’t see Lily for quite a while after, there was suddenly something he was really looking forward to.  
Suddenly, going home didn’t feel as bad as it had been until then.

With a growing grin on his lips, he reached for the phone again, an idea having suddenly crossed his mind.  
“Hey… just a question: how fast can you pack?”

 

***

 

Sirius was, for the lack of a better description, _excited_. James had driven the three of them to the airport, Harry in the backseat, and Sirius had been full of energy ever since that morning. The thought of staying here for New Year’s, of actually getting to meet Remus in person had become even better overnight when he had lain in bed, thinking back on all their Skype calls, how well they’d gotten along, how effortless that had been.

It was funny, to actually walk through the airport with James, Harry between them on both their hands, because there were a _lot_ of looks. And it was only testament to how well he clicked with the other man as well when James found that as hilarious as Sirius did, and they just kept doing it with wide grins and occasional glances at each other that made them burst into laughter.

“Man, how long can it take to get those suitcases out of the plane,” Sirius sighed eventually, after another glance at his watch. The plane had landed already, and now they were just standing around, waiting for the passengers to arrive just like quite a few other people around them.

“With our luck, about an hour,” James groaned and rolled his eyes, holding a wriggling Harry in his arms who was looking around and stared excitedly at all the people and the planes and everything his eyes could take in.

"Man, don't say these things! Jeez, what's wrong with you?" Sirius glared, and gave him a light punch on his upper arm.

“Too many things to list them all,” James grinned and then pulled a face. “Hey, no violence in front of the poor child.”

“The poor child,” Sirius echoed, smirking. James was a great father, he knew that just from those couple of days watching him, but he still wouldn’t be surprised if Harry turned out a bit of a hellion - in the best way possible.

James grinned as if he knew exactly what Sirius was thinking, before he suddenly jammed his elbow right into Sirius’ ribs.  
“There, that’s his flight number, they must be getting their luggage soon.”

Instead of commenting on James’ words - even though Sirius perked up in interest - he chose to rub his side pointedly. “Hey! No violence in front of the child!”

James just rolled his eyes.

“That was no violence, he couldn’t even see it,” he waved off, and Sirius simply huffed in amusement before turning back towards the doors, barely making himself stop fidgeting.

God, couldn’t all this go a little faster. A lot faster.

He could feel James’ gaze lingering on him though, even before the other guy opened his mouth.

“Are you nervous?”

“Nervous?” Sirius drew his eyebrows up at the other man. “Why’d I be nervous?”

“Don't ask me, but you seem like it,” James remarked, not taking his eyes off him. “That's kind of why I'm asking.”

Sirius didn’t reply right away. He _wasn’t_ nervous - was he? There was no reason to be.

Was there?

He groaned.

“God, now you’re _making_ me nervous.”

"What? Why’s that?"

“Because you’re _asking_ like that.”

“That’s just because you _look_ like it,” James insisted. “Don’t worry. He’s a nice guy, he’s not gonna bite.”

“I know he’s a nice guy,” Sirius muttered back, dragging a hand through his hair. Remus _was_ a nice guy, they were getting along really well, they’d already had a lot of fun talking to each other the past couple of days, so it wasn’t like he needed James to tell him that.

The milky glass doors further down the hall slid open again just then, and Sirius perked up.

“Hey, you think that could be people from his flight?”

James shot him a side glance.

“How am I supposed to know? I didn’t track down the passenger list and stalked their facebook photos, you know,” he grimaced, but then seemed to scan the people coming through for a familiar face.

“Smartarse,” Sirius just muttered back, watching the people coming out.

It was funny, really, because in the end what he recognised first was the so familiar shade of Lily’s red hair even though, no, that couldn’t be because Lily was back home, and Sirius’ jaw simply dropped, because no, that was _actually her_.

“What the hell?!”

She was grinning all over her face, and her arm was hooked into that of a guy who could only be Remus. Tall and lanky, with a mop of sandy brown hair, rivaled in how messy it was only by James’ locks, large brown eyes and a wide smile greeted Sirius as they came closer, and Harry became impatient in James’ arms.  
“Uncle Remus!” he chirped and wriggled, and James immediately had to set him down onto his small feet. Harry shot off right away, weaseling through some legs to throw himself into Remus’ arms.

Sirius and James followed the boy, and as Lily had let go of Remus, Sirius turned towards her first, a wide, wide grin on his lips as he took her into a tight hug.

“I can’t believe you’re here, what are you _doing_ here?”

“Remus asked me to join you guys for this awesome New Year’s party you’ll be having,” Lily grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck to squeeze him tight, and Sirius laughed, bright and elated, very, very happy.

“That’s so amazing, I have to go and thank him… There, go over to James, your new competition, say hello, he’s _awesome_.”

With that he gave Lily a big kiss on the cheek and pushed her gently towards the man who had become his best friend for the time he had stayed in England to be able to turn towards Remus.

“No one’s as awesome as me, there is no competition,” Sirius still heard Lily complain, but she turned towards James and left him facing the guy he had only seen on pictures and over Skype until now.

“Hi,” Remus smiled at him, wide and openly, little Harry having his small arms wrapped around Remus’ leg while he was running his fingers through the small boy’s hair. “I’m Remus, nice to finally meet you.” Remus held out his hand in a gesture that felt so formal that it made Sirius laugh.

“Really? You’ve seen my bed hair. Hugs are in order,” he grinned and winked at Remus, invitingly holding out one arm.

“Yeah, except that your bed hair still looks three times better than my normal hair,” Remus’ smile widened, but - not without checking briefly for Harry - he stepped forward and closed the distance between them for a hug.

Sirius laughed and closed his arms around the other man. Remus up close was unexpectedly tall and warm, and suddenly he felt so much more real than he had over Skype, two more senses suddenly realising that, yeah, this guy really existed.

“Your hair’s just fine,” Sirius eventually remembered to say as he pulled away, gaze going up to Remus’ head full of messy brown hair, and his smile grew a little as well.

“Thanks,” Remus replied and held on to Sirius for just a moment longer, but even when he pulled away, his hands still lingered on Sirius’ upper arms. “Nice to finally see and meet you in person.”

“Same here,” Sirius smiled, wide and honest, because this? This was awesome. He felt light and giddy because he _liked_ Remus, he really…

“Uncle Remus!” Harry tried to get some attention again, tugging on Remus’ trouser leg until he got picked up to sit on Remus’ hip. “Sirus made snow angels wi’me, do we make snow angels too now?”

“Oh did he?” Remus bounced Harry on his hip just like James tended to do from time to time, and Sirius earned a side glance and a wide smile from the man. “Seems like he has been a good substitute. And of course we’ll do snow angels together. Can’t just let someone else take those things away from me, right?”

Harry beamed in delight and threw his small arms around Remus’ neck for a tight hug. And God, that was _adorable_.

Sirius bit down on his lower lip around a wide grin, unable to look away from these two.

Remus wrapped his arm tightly around Harry, burying his face in the boy’s neck and blowing raspberries against his skin, causing the small one to laugh and squeal with delight.

“Hey Harry,” he said when he pulled back with a wink and a nod into Sirius’ direction. “You want to give me a moment here so that I can talk to Sirius a bit? You had him for quite a while now, didn’t you?”

Harry nodded earnestly, though there was still a smile on his face, and when Remus sat him down on his feet, he ran back over towards his dad and Lily who were still talking.

Sirius turned back to Remus with a smile.

“Well. That was cute.”

Remus dragged a hand through his hair, ruffling it a bit more.

“Yeah, he really is. Maybe should have told him that I was leaving for a holiday, but he doesn’t seem to be too mad. I forgot, with everything being on such short notice and all.”

He grinned at Sirius, who wondered if he should tell him that he hadn’t been talking only about Harry.

Sirius coughed a little.

“Nah, doubt he could be mad. It’s awesome that this worked out though… and that you brought Lily back with you.”

“Yeah, we’ve had a great time, and I figured you wouldn’t mind if she came over for our little… New Year’s Party. Or whatever it’s going to be.”

“I bloody hope it’s gonna be a New Year’s Party, not sure what else you were gonna celebrate here!” Sirius laughed.

“Well, it’s certainly gonna be New Year’s, I’m just not sure about the party part, I’m afraid,” Remus grinned, scratching the back of his head a little.

Sirius just laughed and threw an arm around Remus’ shoulders, ignoring the tingle rising up in his gut, and steering him towards James, Lily and Harry.

“Oh don’t worry. Among those people we have here? There’s gonna be a party alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience and for your kind words, they're all incredibly appreciated!
> 
> Well... one more to go. I'm really hoping you won't have to wait _too_ long, though I'm about to leave soon for a longer time abroad, so I'm not sure yet how this will influence the writing. I'm very, very certain though that _eventually_ this fic will be finished, just hang on in there. Thank you all so much!


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